DRAMATIS PERSONE. Pennyboy, the son, the heir and suitor. Almanac, doctor in physic, and jeerer. Madrigal, poetaster and jeerer. Picklock, man o' law, and emissary Westminster. Piedmantle, pursuivant at arms, and heraldet. Register, of the staple, or office. Nathaniel, first clerk of the office. Thomas, Barber, second clerk of the office. Broker, secretary, and gentleman usher to Pecunia. Lickfinger, master-cook, and parcel-poet. Fashioner, the tailor of the times. Leatherleg, shoemaker. Block and Lollard, two dogs. Buz, Ambler, grooms; fiddlers, singing-boy, attendants, &c. INTERMEAN or CHORUS. Gossips Mirth, Tattle, Expectation, and Censure. Pecunia, infanta of the mines. Mortgage, her nurse. Statute, first woman. Band, second woman. Wax, (Rose,) chambermaid. SCENE, London, THE STAPLE OF NEWS. ACT I. SCENE I. The Lodgings of Pennyboy, jun. Enter PENNY BOY, jun. and LEATHERLEG with a new pair of boots. P. jun. [Leath. pulls on his boots.] Gramercy, And thou hast fitted me. [Exit. P. jun. [walks up and down in his gown, waistcoat, and trowses,1 expecting his tailor.] Look to me, wit, and look to my wit, land, That is, look on me, and with all thine eyes, Male, female, yea, hermaphroditic eyes, And those bring all your helps and perspicils," To see me at best advantage, and augment * In his trowses,] Trowses are the close drawers over which the hose or slops (the loose breeches) were drawn. I know not why Whalley constantly alters the word to trowsers. Perspicils.] Optic glasses. We find the word in Albuma. zar, A. i. S. 3. "Sir, 'tis a perspicil, the best under heaven." WHAL. This certainly (like many other quotations which might be pointed out) does not prove what it was brought to prove; but the word is nevertheless rightly explained. My form as I come forth; for I do feel I will be one worth looking after shortly; Now, by and by, that's shortly,-[draws forth his watch, and sets it on the table.] It strikes! one, two, Three, four, five, six. Enough, enough, dear watch, Thy pulse hath beat enough. Now sleep and rest; And (to rhyme to it) threescore thousand pound! Worse than the same thou prosecut'st, and prick'st I do write man, to beat thee! One and twenty Since the clock struck, complete! and thou wilt feel it, Thou foolish animal!--I could pity him, T'above two thousand a year, yet hope his custom! Enter FASHIONER. Are you come, sir? Fash. God give your worship joy ! P. jun. What! of your staying, And leaving me to stalk here in my trowses, Fash. I but waited Below, till the clock struck. P. jun. Why, if you had come Before a quarter, would it so have hurt you, Fash. No, but your worship might have pleaded nonage, If you had got them on, ere I could make Just affidavit of the time. P. jun. That jest Has gain'd thy pardon, thou hadst lived condemn'd To thine own hell else, never to have wrought Stitch more for me, or any Pennyboy, I could have hinder'd thee: but now thou art mine. For one and twenty years, or for three lives, Choose which thou wilt, I'll make thee a copy holder, And thy first bill unquestion'd. Help me on. Fash. Presently, sir: [says his suit.'] I am bound unto your worship. P. jun. Thou shalt be, when I have seal'd thee a lease of my custom. Fash. Your worship's barber is without. Come in, Tom. 3 -says his suit.] Tries it on. Thus Evadne in the Rebellion. "I wonder why the tailor makes gowns so imperfect, that they need so many says?” Enter THOMAS, Barber. Set thy things upon the board, And spread thy cloths, lay all forth in procinctus, And tell's what news? Tho. O sir, a STAPLE OF NEWS! Or the New Staple, which you please. Fash. An office, sir, a brave young office set up: I had forgot to tell your worship. P. jun. For what? Tho. To enter all the News, sir, of the time. Fash. And vent it as occasion serves: a place Of huge commèrce it will be! P. jun. Pray thee, peace; I cannot abide a talking tailor: let Tom (He is a barber) by his place relate it. What is't, an office, Tom? Tho. Newly erected Here in the house, almost on the same floor, Fash. Nay, if you knew the brain that hatch'd it, sir P. jun. I know thee well enough: give him a loaf, Tom ;* Quiet his mouth, that oven will be venting else. Proceed give him a loaf, Tom ;] Again! Our old writers are never weary of this jest. In the Rebellion, by Rawlins, allusions to this artophagous propensity of the tailors occur in almost every page. |