bottomed stained chairs - three wine. glasses and a tumbler on each sideboarda farmer's girl and a farmer's boy on the mantelpiece: one tumbling over a stile, and the other spitting himself on the handle of a pitchfork-long white dimity curtains in the window-and, in short, every thing on the most genteel scale imaginable. their servants' charms under for fear they | Kidderminster carpet-six bran-new cane should get married first, which was no uncommon circumstance-leastways she had known two or three young ladies in service, who had married a great deal better than their mississes, and they were not very good-looking either; and then the young lady would inform Miss Martin, in confidence, that how one of their young ladies was engaged to a young man, and was a-going to be married, and Missis was so proud about it there was no bearing her; but she needn't hold her head quite so high neither, for, after all, he was only a clerk. And, after expressing a due contempt for clerks in general, and the engaged clerk in particular, and the highest opinion possible of themselves and of each other, Miss Martin and the young lady in service would bid each other good night in a friendly but perfectly genteel manner; and the one went back to her "place," and the other to her room on the second-painter's journeyman's connexion, she floor front. There is no saying how long Miss Amelia Martin might have continued this course of life; how extensive a connexion she might have established among young ladies in service; or what amount her demands upon their quarterly receipts might have ultimately attained, had not an unforeseen train of circumstances directed her thoughts to a sphere of action very different from dressmaking or millinery. Then the dinner. There was baked leg of mutton at the top, a boiled leg of mutton at the bottom, a pair of fowls and leg of pork in the middle; porter-pots at the corners; pepper, mustard, and vinegar in the centre; vegetables on the floor; and plum-pudding and apple-pie and tartlets without number, to say nothing of cheese, and celery, and water-cresses, and all that sort of thing. As to the company! Miss Amelia Martin herself declared, on a subsequent occasion, that much as she had heard of the ornamental never could have supposed it was half so genteel. There was his father, such a funny old gentleman - and his mother, such a dear old lady-and his sister, such a charming girl-and his brother, such a manly-looking young man—with such a eye! But even all these were as nothing when compared with his musical friends Mr. and Mrs. Jennings Rodolph, from White Conduit, with whom the ornamental painter's journeyman had been A friend of Miss Martin's, who had fortunate enough to contract an intimacy long been keeping company with an orna- while engaged in decorating the concertmental painter and decorator's journey- room of that noble institution. To hear man, at last consented (on being at last them sing separately, was perfectly di asked to do so) to name the day which vine, but when they went through the would make the aforesaid journeyman a tragic duet of "Red Ruffian, retire!" it happy husband. It was a Monday that was, as Miss Martin afterwards remarked, was appointed for the celebration of the "thrilling." And why (as Mr. Jennings nuptials, and Miss Amelia Martin was Rodolph observed)-why were they not invited, among others, to honour the wed- engaged at one of the patent theatres? ding-dinner with her presence. It was a If he was to be told that their voices were charming party; Somerstown the locality, not powerful enough to fill the House, his and a front parlour the apartment. The only reply was that he would back himornamental painter and decorator's jour- self for any amount to fill Russell-squareneyman had taken a house-no lodgings a statement in which the company, after nor vulgarity of that kind, but a house-hearing the duet, expressed their full befour beautiful rooms, and a delightful little wash-house at the end of the passage, which was the most convenient thing in the world, for the bridesmaids could sit in the front parlour and receive the company, and then run into the little washhouse and see how the pudding and boiled pork were getting on in the copper, and then pop back into the parlour again, as snug and comfortable as possible. And such a parlour as it was too! beautiful lief; so they all said it was shameful treatment; and both Mr. and Mrs. Jennings Rodolph said it was shameful too, and Mr. Jennings Rodolph looked very serious, and said he knew who his malig nant opponents were, but they had better take care how far they went, for if they irritated him too much he had not quite made up his mind whether he wouldn't bring the subject before Parliament; and they all agreed that it "'ud serve 'em quite right, and it was very proper that such people should be made an examples of." So Mr. Jennings Rodolph said he'd think of it. markably pleasant to the individual principally concerned, if he or she can but manage to come out with a burst, and being out, to keep out, and not go in again; but it does unfortunately happen that both consummations are extremely difficult to accomplish, and that the difficulties of getting out at all in the first instance, and if you surmount them, of keeping out in the second, are pretty much on a par, and no slight ones either When the conversation resumed its former tone, Mr. Jennings Rodolph claim ed his right to call upon a lady, and the right being conceded, trusted Miss Martin would favour the company- a proposal which met with unanimous approbation, whereupon Miss Martin, after sundry hesitatings and coughings, with a prepara--and so Miss Amelia Martin discovered. tory choke or two, and an introductory declaration that she was frightened to death to attempt it before such great judges of the art, commenced a species of treble chirruping containing constant allusions to some young gentleman of the name of Hen-e-ry, with an occasional reference to madness and damaged hearts. Mr. Jennings Rodolph frequently interrupted the progress of the song, by ejaculating "Beautiful !”. -"Charming!". "Brilliant!"--"Oh! splendid," &c.; and at its close the admiration of himself, and his lady, knew no bounds. "Did you ever hear so sweet a voice, my dear?" inquired Mr. Jennings Rodolph of Mrs. Jennings Rodolph. "Never; indeed I never did, love;" replied Mrs. Jennings Rodolph. "Don't you think Miss Martin, with a little cultivation, would be very like Signora Marro Boni, my dear?" asked Mr. Jennings Rodolph. "Just exactly the very thing that struck me, my love," answered Mrs. Jennings Rodolph. a And thus the time passed away; Mr. Jennings Rodolph played tunes on walkingstick, and then went behind the parlour door and gave his celebrated imitations of actors, edge-tools, and animals; Miss Martin sang several other songs with increased admiration every time, and even the funny old gentleman began singing; his song had properly seven verses, but as he could n't recollect more than the first one, he sang that over seven times, apparently very much to his own personal gratification. And then all the company sang the national anthem with national independence-each for himself, without reference to the other - and finally separated, all declaring that they never had spent so pleasant an evening, and Miss Martin inwardly resolving to adopt the advice of Mr. Jennings Rodolph, and to "come out" without delay. Now, "coming out," either in acting, or singing, or society, or facetiousness, or anything else, is all very well, and re It is a singular fact (there being ladies in the case) that Miss Amelia Martin's principal foible was vanity, and the leading characteristic of Mrs. Jennings Rodolph an attachment to dress. Dismal wailings were heard to issue from the second-floor front of number forty-seven, Drummond-street, George-street, Eustonsquare; it was Miss Martin practising. Half-suppressed murmurs disturbed the calm dignity of the White Conduit orchestra at the commencement of the sea son. It was the appearance of Mrs. Jennings Rodolph in full dress, that occasioned them. Miss Martin studied incessantly-the practising was the consequence. Mrs. Jennings Rodolph taught gratuitously now and then- the dresses were the result. Weeks passed away; the White Conduit season had begun, had progressed, and was more than half over. The dressmaking business had fallen off from neglect; and its profits had dwindled away almost imperceptibly. A benefit-night approached; Mr. Jennings Rodolph yielded to the earnest solicitations of Miss Amelia Martin, and introduced her personally to the "comic gentleman" whose benefit it was. The comic gentleman was all smiles and blandness-- he had composed a duet expressly for the occasion, and Miss Martin should sing it with him. The night arrived; there was an immense room-ninety-seven sixpenn'orths of gin-and-water, thirty-two small glasses of brandy-and-water, fiveand-twenty bottled ales, and forty-one neguses; and the ornamental painter's journeyman, with his wife and a select circle of acquaintance, were seated at one of the side-tables near the orchestra. The concert began. Song-sentimental by a light-haired young gentleman in a blue coat, and bright basket buttons [applause]. Another song, doubtful, by another gentleman in another blue coat, and more bright basket buttons-[increased applause]. Duet, Mr. Jennings Rodolph and Mrs. Jennings Rodolph, 66 "Red Ruffian, retire!"-[great applause]. s-s—s"—went the five-and-twenty bottled ales. "Shame, shame!" remonstrated the ornamental painter's journeyman's party-"S-s-s-s" went the bottled ales again, accompanied by all the gins, and a majority of the brandies. "Turn them geese out," cried the ornamental painter's journeyman's party, with great indignation. "Sing out," whispered Mr. Jennings Rodolph. "So I do," responded Miss Amelia Martin. Sing louder," said Mrs. Jennings Rodolph. "I can't," replied Miss Amelia Martin. "Off, off, off" cried the rest of the audience. more popular in its immediate vicinity than Signor Billsmethi's, of the " King's Theatre." It was not in Spring-gardens, or Newman-street, or Berners-street, or Gower-street, or Charlotte-street, or Percy-strect, or any other of the numerous streets which have been devoted time cut of mind to professional people, dispensa ries, and boarding-houses; it was not in the West-end at all-it rather approxi mated to the eastern portion of London, being situated in the populous and improving neighbourhood of Gray's-inn-lane. It was not a dear dancing academy-fourand-sixpence a quarter is decidedly cheap upon the whole. It was very select, the number of pupils being strictly limited to seventy-five, and a quarter's payment in advance being rigidly exacted. There was public tuition and private tuitionan assembly room and a parlour. Signor Billsmethi's family were always thrown in with the parlour, and included in parlour price; that is to say, a private pupil had Signor Billsmethi's parlour to dance in, and Signor Billsmethi's family to dance with; and when he had been sufficiently broken in in the parlour, he began to run in couples in the Assembly-room. Such was the dancing academy of Signor Billsmethi, when Mr. Augustus Cooper, of Fetter-lane, first saw an unstamped advertisement walking leisurely down Holborn-hill, announcing to the world that Signor Billsmethi, of the King's Theatre, intended opening for the season with a Grand Ball. Now, Mr. Augustus Cooper was in the oil and colour line-just of age, with a 'Brayvo!" shouted the painter's party. little money, a little business, and a little It wouldn't do-Miss Amelia Martin left mother, who, having managed her husthe orchestra with much less ceremony band and his business in his lifetime, took than she had entered it; and as she to managing her son and his business couldn't sing out, never came out. The after his decease; and so, somehow or general good-humour was not restored other, he had been cooped up in the little until Mr. Jennings Rodolph had become back parlour behind the shop on weekpurple in the face, by imitating divers days, and in a little deal box without a lid, quadrupeds for half an hour without be- (called by courtesy a pew) at Bethel ing able to render himself audible; and Chapel on Sundays, and had seen no more to this day, neither has Miss Amelia of the world than if he had been an inMartin's good humour been restored, nor fant all his days; whereas Young White, the dresses made for and presented to at the Gas-fitter's over the way, three Mrs. Jennings Rodolph, nor the vocal years younger than him, had been flaring abilities which Mr. Jennings Rodolph away like winkin'-going to the theatre once staked his professional reputation-supping at harmonic meetings-eating that Miss Martin possessed. CHAPTER IX. THE DANCING ACADEMY. Of all the dancing academies that ever were established, there never was one oysters by the barrel-drinking stout by the gallon-even stopping out all night, and coming home as cool in the morning as if nothing had happened. So Mr. Augustus Cooper made up his mind that he would not stand it any longer, and had that very morning expressed to methi, "this is Mr. Cooper-Mr. Cooper, of Fetter-lane. Mr. Cooper, my daughter, sir-Miss Billsmethi, sir, who I hope will have the pleasure of dancing many a quadrille, minuet, gavotte, country-dance, fandango, double-hornpipe, and farinagholkajingo with you, sir. She dances them all, sir; and so shall you, sir, before you're a quarter older, sir." And Signor Billsmethi slapped Mr. Augustus Cooper on the back as if he had known him a dozen years,-so friendly; and Mr. Cooper bowed to the young lady, and the young lady curtseyed to him, and Signor Billsmethi said they were as handsome a pair as ever he'd wish to see; upon which the young lady exclaimed, "Lor, pa!" and blushed as red as Mr. Cooper himself-you might have thought they were both standing under a red lamp at a chemist's shop; and before Mr. Cooper went away, it was settled that he should join the family circle that very night-taking them just as they wereno ceremony nor nonsense of that kind— and learn his positions, in order that he might lose no time, and be able to come out at the forthcoming ball. his mother a firm determination to be blowed," in the event of his not being instantly provided with a street-door key. And he was walking down Holborn-hill, thinking about all these things, and wondering how he could manage to get introduced into genteel society for the first time, when his eyes rested on Signor Billsmethi's announcement, which it immediately struck him was just the very thing he wanted; for he should not only be able to select a genteel circle of acquaintance at once out of the five-andseventy pupils at four-and-sixpence a quarter, but should qualify himself at the same time to go through a hornpipe in private society, with perfect ease to himself, and great delight to his friends. So he stopped the unstamped advertisement -an animated sandwich, composed of a boy between two boards-and having procured a very small card with the Signor's address indented thereon, walked straight at once to the Signor's house-and very fast he walked, too, for fear the list should be filled up, and the five-and-seventy completed before he got there. The Signor was at home, and, what was still more gratifying, he was an Englishman! Such a nice man-and so polite! The list was not full, but it was a most extraordinary circumstance that there was only just one vacancy, and even that one would have been filled up that very morning, only Signor Billsmethi was dissatis-and-sixpenny, long-quartered, town mades, fied with the reference, and, being very much afraid that the lady wasn't select, wouldn't take her. "And very much delighted I am, Mr. Cooper," said Signor Billsmethi," that I did not take her. I assure you, Mr. Cooper-I don't say it to flatter you, for I know you're above it-that I consider myself extremely fortunate in having a gentleman of your manners and appearance, sir." "I am very glad of it, too, sir," said Augustus Cooper. "And I hope we shall be better acquainted, sir," said Signor Billsmethi. "And I'm sure I hope we shall, too, sir," responded Augustus Cooper. Just then the door opened, and in came a young lady with her hair curled in a crop all over her head, and her shoes tied in sandals all over her legs. "Don't run away, my dear," said Signor Billsmethi; for the young lady didn't know Mr. Cooper was there when she ran in, and was going to run out again in her modesty, all in confusion-like. "Don't run away, my dear," said Signor Bills Well; Mr. Augustus Cooper went away to one of the cheap shoemakers' shops in Holborn, where gentlemen's dress-pumps are seven-and-sixpence, and men's strong walking, just nothing at all, and bought a pair of the regular seven After in which he astonished himself quite as s cane in his hand, and a cheese-plate on his head, to the unqualified admiration of the whole company. Then Signor Billsmethi insisted, as they were so happy, that they should all stay to supper, and proposed sending Master Billsmethi for the beer and spirits, whereupon the two gentlemen swore, "strike 'em wulgar if they'd stand that;" and they were just going to quarrel who should pay for it, when Mr. Augustus Cooper said he would, if they'd have the kindness to allow him-and they had the kindness to allow him; and Master Billsmethi brought the beer in a can, and the rum in a quart-pot. They had a regular night of it; and Miss Billsmethi squeezed Mr. Augustus Cooper's hand under the table; and Mr. Augustus Cooper returned the squeeze, and returned home too, at something to six o'clock in the morning, when he was put to bed by main force by the apprentice, after repeatedly expressing an uncontrollable desire to pitch his reverend parent out of the second-floor window, and to throttle the apprentice with his own neck-handkerchief. Weeks had worn on, and the sevenand-sixpenny town-mades had nearly worn out, when the night arrived for the grand dress-ball at which the whole of the five-and-seventy pupils were to meet together for the first time that season, and to take out some portion of their respective four-and-sixpences in lamp-oil and fiddlers. Mr. Augustus Cooper had ordered a new coat for the occasion-a two-pound-tenner from Turnstile. It was his first appearance in public; and after a grand Sicilian shawl-dance by fourteen young ladies in character, he was to open the quadrille department with Miss Billsmethi herself, with whom he had become quite intimate since his first introduction. It was a night! Everything was admirably arranged. The sandwich-boy took the hats and bonnets at the street-door; there was a turn-up bedstead in the back parlour, on which Miss Billsmethi made tea and coffee for such of the gentlemen as chose to pay for it, and such of the ladies as the gentlemen treated; red port-wine negus and lemonade were handed round at eighteen-pence a head, and, in pursuance of a previous engagement with the public-house at the corner of the street, an extra potboy was laid on for the occasion. In short, nothing could exceed the arrangements, except the company. Such ladies! Such pink silk stockings! Such artificial flowers! Such a number of cabs! No sooner had one cab set down a couple of ladies, than another cab drove up and set down another couple of ladies, and they all knew, not only one another, but the majority of the gentlemen into the bargain, which made it all as pleasant and lively as could be. Signor Billsmethi in black tights, with a large blue bow in his buttonhole, introduced the ladies to such of the gentlemen as were strangers: and the ladies talked away-and laughed they did—it was delightful to see them. As to the shawl-dance, it was the most exciting thing that ever was beheld; there was such a whisking, and rustling, and fanning, and getting ladies into a tangle with artificial flowers, and then disentangling them again; and as to Mr. Augustus Cooper's share in the quadrille, he got through it admirably. He was missing from his partner now and then certainly, and discovered on such occasions to be either dancing with laudable perseverance in another set, or sliding about in perspective, apparently without any definite object; but, generally speaking, they managed to shove him through the figure, until he turned up in the right place. Be this as it may, when he had finished, a great many ladies and gentlemen came up and complimented him very much, and said they had never seen a beginner do anything like it before; and Mr. Augustus Cooper was perfectly satisfied with himself, and everybody else into the bargain, and "stood" considerable quantities of spirits and water, negus, and compounds, for the use and behoof of two or three dozen very particular friends, selected from the select circle of five-and-seventy pupils. Now, whether it was the strength of the compounds, or the beauty of the ladies, or what not, it did so happen that Mr. Augustus Cooper encouraged, rather than repelled, the very flattering atten tions of a young lady in brown gauze over white calico, who had appeared particularly struck with him from the first; and when the encouragements had been prolonged for some time, Miss Billsmethi betrayed her spite and jealousy thereat by calling the young lady in brown gauze a "creeter," which induced the young lady in brown gauze to retort in certain sentences containing a taunt founded on the payment of four-and-sixpence a quar ter, and some indistinct reference to a 66 fancy man;" which reference, Mr. Augustus Cooper, being then and there in a state of considerable bewilderment, ex pressed his entire concurrence in. Miss |