Lockhart, and was killed at the battle near Dunkirk against the Spaniards; what became of my fecond brother I never knew, any more than my father or mother did know what was become of me.

Being the third fon of the family, and not bred to any trade, my head began to be filled very early with rambling thoughts: my father, who was very ancient, had given me a competent share of learning, as far as house education, and a country free-fchool generally goes, and defigned me for the law; but I would be fatisfied with nothing but going to fea; and my inclination to this led me fo ftrongly against the will, nay the commands of my father, and against all the entreaties and perfuafions of my mother and other friends, that there feemed to be fomething fatal in that propenfion of nature tending directly to the life of mifery which was to befal me.

My father, a wife and grave man, gave me serious and excellent counsel against what he forefaw was my defign. He called me one morning into his chamber, where he was confined by the gout, and expoftulated very warmly with me upon this fubject he asked me what reasons more than a meer wandering inclination I had for leaving my father's house and my native country, where I might be well introduced, and had a profpect of raising my fortune by application and induftery, with a life of eafe and pleasure. He told me it was for men of defperate fortunes on one hand, or of aspiring fuperior fortunes on the other, who went abroad upon adventures, to rife by enterprize, and make themselves famous in undertakings of a nature out of the common road; that these things were all either too far

above me, or too far below me; that mine was the middle state, or what might be called the upper ftation of low life, which he had found by long experience was the beft ftate in the world, the most fuited to human happiness, not exposed to the miseries and hardships, the labour and sufferings of the mechanic part of mankind, and not embarraffed with the pride, luxury, ambition, and envy of the upper part of mankind. He told me, I might judge of the happiness of this ftate, by this one thing, viz. That this was the state of life which all other people envied; that Kings have frequently lamented the miferable confequences of being born to great things, and wish they had been placed in the middle of the two extremes, between the mean and the great; that the wife man gave his testimony to this as the just ftandard of true felicity, when he prayed to have neither poverty or riches.

He bid me obferve it, and I fhould always find, that the calamities of life were fhared among the upper and lower part of mankind; but that the middle ftation had the feweft difafters, and was not exposed to fo many viciffitudes as the higher or lower part of mankind; nay, they were not fubjected to fo many distempers and uneafineffes either of body or mind, as those were, who by vicious living, luxury and extravagancies on one hand, or by hard labour, want of neceffaries, and mean or infufficient diet on the other hand, bring diftempers upon themfelves by the natural confequences of their way of living; that the middle ftation of life was calculated for all kind of virtues and all kind of enjoyments; that B 2

peace

peace and plenty were the hand-maids of a middle fortune; that temperance, moderation, quietness, health, fociety, all agreeable diverfions, and all defirable pleasures, were the bleffings attending the middle station of life; that this way men went filently and smoothly through the world, and comfortably out of it, not embarraffed with the labours of the hands or of the head, not fold to the life of flavery for daily bread, or harraffed with perplexed circumftances, which rob the foul of peace, and the body of reft; not enraged with the paffion of envy, or fecret burning luft of ambition for great things; but in eafy circumstances fliding gently through the world, and fenfibly tafting the sweets of living, without the bitter, feeling that they are happy, and learning by every day's experience to know it more fenfibly.

After this, he preffed me earnestly, and in the most affectionate manner, not to play the young man, not to precipitate myself into miferies which nature and the station of life I was born in feemed to have provided against; that I was under no neceffity of feeking my bread; that he would do well for me, and endeavour to enter me fairly into the station of life which he had been juft recommending to me; and that if I was not very eafy and happy in the world, it must be my mere fate or fault that must hinder it, and that he should have nothing to answer for, having thus discharged his duty in warning me against measures which he knew would be to my hurt in a word, that as he would do very kind things for me if I would stay and fettle at home as he directed, fo he would not have fo much hand in my misfortunes, as to give me any encouragement to go

away:

away: and to clofe all, he told me I had my elder brother for an example, to whom he had used the fame earnest perfuafions to keep him from going into the low country wars, but could not prevail, his young defires prompting him to run into the army, where he was killed; and though he faid he would not cease to pray for me, yet he would venture to fay to me, that if I did take this foolish step, God would not blefs me, and I would have leifure hereafter to reflect upon having neglected his counsel when there might be none to affist in my recovery.

I obferved in this laft part of his difcourfe, which was truly prophetic, though I fuppofe my father did not know it to be fo himself; I say, I observed the tears run down his face very plentifully, and efpecially when he spoke of my brother who was killed; and that when he spoke of my having leisure to repent, and none to affift me, he was fo moved, that he broke off the difcourfe, and told me, his heart was fo full, he could fay no more to me.

I was fincerely affected with this difcourfe, as indeed who could be otherwife? and I refolved not to think of going abroad any more, but to fettle at home according to my father's defire. But alas! a few days wore it all off; and in fhort, to prevent any of my father's farther importunities, in a few weeks after I refolved to run quite away from him. However, I did not act so hastily neither as my first heat of refolution prompted, but I took my mother, at a time when I thought her a little pleasanter than ordinary, and told her, that my thoughts were so entirely bent upon feeing the world, that I fhould never fettle to any thing with refolution enough to go through

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through with it, and my father had better give me his confent than force me to go without it; that I was now eighteen years old, which was too late to go apprentice to a trade, or clerk to an attorney; that I was fure, if I did, I fhould never ferve out my time, and I fhould certainly run away from my mafter before my time was out, and go to fea; and if fhe would fpeak to my father to let me go one voyage abroad, if I came home again and did not like it, I would go no more, and I would promise by a double diligence to recover that time I had loft.

This put my mother into a great paffion: fhe told me, fhe knew it would be to no purpose to speak to my father upon any such subject; that he knew too well what was my intereft to give his confent to any fuch thing fo much for my hurt, and that she wondered how I could think of any fuch thing after fuch a difcourfe as I had had with my father, and fuch kind and tender expreffions as fhe knew my father had ufed to me; and that in fhort, if I would ruin myfelf, there was no help for me; but I might depend I fhould never have their confent to it: that for her part fhe would not have fo much hand in my deftruction; and I fhould never have it to fay, that my mother was willing when my father was not.

Though my mother refufed to move it to my father, yet, as I have heard afterwards, fhe reported all the difcourfe to him, and that my father, after fhewing a great concern at it, faid to her with a figh, "That boy might he happy if he would stay at home, but if he goes abroad, he will be the most miferable wretch that was ever born; I can give no confent to it."