LII Of Ceremonies and Respects HE that is only real had need have exceeding great parts of virtue, as the stone had need to be rich that is set without foil. But if a man mark it well, it is in praise and commendation of men as it is in gettings and gains. 5 For the proverb is true, That light gains make heavy purses, for light gains come thick, whereas great come but now and then; so it is true, that small matters win great commendation, because they are continually in use and in note, whereas the occasion of any great virtue 10 cometh but on festivals. Therefore it doth much add to a man's reputation, and is (as Queen Isabella said) like perpetual letters commendatory, to have good forms. To attain them, it almost sufficeth not to despise them; : He that is onely reall, needeth exceeding greate partes of vertue, as the stone had neede to bee excecding riche that is set wthout foyle but commonly it is in praise, as it is in gaine: for as the proverb is true, that light gaines make heavie purses, because they come thicke: whereas the greate come but now, and then: so it is as true that small matters win greate commendation, because they are continually in vse, and in noate, whereas the occasion of any greate Essay 52] Of Ceremonies and Respects 79 for so shall a man observe them in others, and let him trust himself with the rest. For if he labour too much 15 to express them, he shall lose their grace, which is to be natural and unaffected. Some men's behaviour is like a verse, wherein every syllable is measured. How can a man comprehend great matters, that breaketh his mind too much to small observations? Not to use ceremonies 20 at all, is to teach others not to use them again, and so diminish respect to himself (especially they are not to be omitted to strangers and formal natures); but the dwelling upon them, and exalting them above the moon, is not only tedious, but doth diminish the faith and credit of him 25 that speaks. And certainly, there is a kind of conveying of effectual and imprinting passages amongst compliments, which is of singular use, if a man can hit upon it. Amongst a man's peers a man shall be sure of familiarity, and therefore it is good a little to keep state. 30 Amongst a man's inferiors one shall be sure of reverence, and therefore it is good a little to be familiar. He that is too much in any thing, so that he giveth another occasion of satiety, maketh himself cheap. To apply one's vertue commeth but on hollidaies: to attaine good formes it sufficeth not to despise them, for so shall a man obserue them in others, and let him trust himselfe wth the rest: for if he care to expresse them he shall loose their grace, wch is to be naturall, and vnaffected : some men's behaviour is like a verse, wherein every sillable is measured: how can a man obserue greate matters, that breaketh his minde to much in small observations? Not to vse ceremonies at all, is to teache others not to vse them againe, and so diminish his respect: especially they are not to be omitted to straungers, and straunge natures: among a mans equalls a man shallbe sure of familiarity, and therefore it is good a litle to keepe state: among a mans inferiours a man shallbe sure of reverence, and therefore it is good a litle to be familiar: he that is to much in any thing, so that he giveth another occasion of satiety, maketh himselfe cheape; to apply ones selfe to others is good, so it be wth demonstration 35 self to others is good; so it be with demonstration that a man doth it upon regard and not upon facility. It is a good precept generally in seconding another, yet to add somewhat of one's own; as, if you will grant his opinion, let it be with some distinction; if you will allow his 4o motion, let it be with condition; if you allow his counsel, let it be with alleging further reason. Men had need beware how they be too perfect in compliments: for be they never so sufficient otherwise, their enviers will be sure to give them that attribute, to 45 the disadvantage of their greater virtues. It is loss also in business to be too full of respects, or to be too curious in observing times and opportunities. Solomon saith, He that considereth the wind shall not sow, and he that looketh to the clouds shall not reap. A wise man will 50 make more opportunities than he finds. Men's behaviour should be like their apparel, not too strait or point device, but free for exercise or motion. that a man doth it vpon regarde, and not vpon facility: it is a good precept generally in seconding another, yet to adde somewhat of his owne: if you graunt his opinion let it be wth some distinction: if you will followe his motion let it be wth condition: if you allowe his counsaile, let it be wth alledging farther reason. LIII. Of Praise PRAISE is the reflection of virtue. But it is as the glass or body which giveth the reflection. If it be from the common people, it is commonly false and naught, and rather followeth vain persons than virtuous: for the common people understand not many excellent virtues. 5 The lowest virtues draw praise from them, the middle virtues work in them astonishment or admiration; but of the highest virtues they have no sense or perceiving at all. But shows, and species virtutibus similes serve best with them. Certainly, fame is like a river, that beareth up things light and swollen, and drowns things weighty and solid. But if persons of quality and judgment concur, then it is (as the Scripture saith) Nomen 'bonum instar unguenti fragrantis. It filleth all round about, and will not easily away; for the odours of oint- 15 ments are more durable than those of flowers. There be so many false points of praise, that a man ΤΟ may justly hold it a suspect. Some praises proceed merely of flattery and if it be an ordinary flatterer, he 20 will have certain common attributes, which may serve every man; if he be a cunning flatterer, he will follow the arch-flatterer, which is a man's self, and wherein a man thinketh best of himself, therein the flatterer will uphold him most: but if he be an impudent flatterer, 25 look wherein a man is conscious to himself that he is most defective, and is most out of countenance in himself, that will the flatterer entitle him to, perforce, spreta conscientia. Some praises come of good wishes and respects, which is a form due in civility to kings and 30 great persons, laudando præcipere; when by telling men what they are, they represent to them what they should be. Some men are praised maliciously to their hurt, thereby to stir envy and jealousy towards them; pessimum genus inimicorum laudantium; insomuch as it 35 was a proverb amongst the Grecians, that he that was praised to his hurt, should have a push rise upon his nose; as we say, that A blister will rise upon one's tongue that tells a lie. Certainly, moderate praise, used with opportunity, and not vulgar, is that which doeth the good. 4 Salomon saith, He that praiseth his friend aloud, rising early, it shall be no better to him than a curse. Too much magnifying of man or matter doth irritate contradiction, and procure envy and scorn. 45 To praise a man's self, cannot be decent, except it be in rare cases; but to praise a man's office or profession, he may do it with good grace, and with a kind of magnanimity. The cardinals of Rome, which are theologues, and friars, and schoolmen, have a phrase of notable contempt and scorn towards civil business for they call all 50 temporal business of wars, embassages, judicature, and other employments, sbirrerie, which is under-sheriffries, as if they were but matters for under-sheriffs and catch |