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CHAPTER XX.

It was the quiet sense of something won, and something lost; the fixed determination to put aside all dreams, all regret, all foolishness of sorrow; to set up the invincible might of endurance, the concentrated and essential energy of the soul, against the slights and assaults of fortune; to live his life, to work out his work, with a passiveness indifferent to success, and strong only in the sense of duty.

PRECIOSA.

MIRIAM'S first days at Miss Smith's establish

ment appeared to be of endless length, yet the weeks slipped by with marvellous celerity, and she had scarcely adapted herself to the strangeness of her new life, and a mode of teaching very unlike the system pursued in the Mordaunt schoolroom, before the other girls had begun to anticipate the delights of the Christmas holidays. But no one spoke of these home pleasures to Miriam, nor she to them. Her schoolfellows might appeal to her to unravel the intricacies of a German sentence, or to restore by a few bold strokes some meaning to a drawing from which it had been effaced by indiarubber and laboured pencilling, but no one dreamed of sharing any nearer interest with her. Her reserved manner repelled the curiosity and exchange of confidence in which school-girls are so ready to

indulge; and indeed Miriam's absolute silence respecting her home, gave rise to the suspicion that she shared the hapless fate of those to whom schooltide and holidays are alike.

But, while Miriam made no friends, she had not a few admirers, who, like Lilias Mordaunt, longed to approach her, yet felt every day that she was more unapproachable. Her high standard of right insensibly affected those with whom she came in contact, and there was less tittering and flippant talk before her, and fewer attempts to elude the authority which could not be openly defied. Yet even at the best, Miriam found the tone of her companions jarring and discordant with her own: she pined for solitude and freedom, and chafed against the trivial interests which served to vary the daily routine,-the pattern of the silk dress which was being made for Louisa Steele, and the singular fact that M. Bassompierre invariably failed to keep his temper when he had forgotten to bring his snuffbox with him to his French class. It was only in the little room, which Mr. Cornwall had stipulated should be her own, that Miriam could brace herself against the trials, which, petty in themselves, harassed her so grievously. Once alone and in the dark, Miriam would only creep to bed when she was too chilled and weary to sit any longer at her narrow casement, watching the quiet starlight, or seeking the reflex of a troubled spirit in the stormy clouds, now chasing wildly across the sky, now pausing in their career to catch the moonlight on their ragged edges. But Miriam loved the quiet beauty best, for the wrest

lings of an unsubdued temper were yielding to the 'great calm' of a devout and courageous heart. Life was still a great mystery, and her lot a hard one, but as a mystery she was learning to accept it, and to struggle on through the darkness, hoping that light might at last be given to her.

One solace, granted for a time, was soon withdrawn. George had at first written constantly and in high spirits, and his sister hoped that he had at last found his vocation in life. But with the novelty, the charm wore off, and his tone changed; he revived the old complaint that it was not the profession of a gentleman, that the young farmers were slow, except the two or three who hunted, and that these would not associate with him unless he could do the like. Next it appeared that he had done the like, and then, in the natural course of events, came the assertion that it was impossible to live on the allowance assigned to him by Uncle Ralph, coupled with an inquiry whether he treated Miriam more liberally. Miriam replied by enclosing the five pounds which were sorely needed for the renovation of her own wardrobe, together with an admonition to be prudent for the future. She knew that she was weak, but George was still her darling brother, and she must do what she could to retain some influence over him. And the money was taken, but not the

advice.

Emma Barlow, generally considered the dullest and most uninteresting girl in the school, was the one towards whom Miriam was most attracted. She was steady and straightforward, and little addicted to gossip, because she was too stupid, as the other

girls said. In that reputation for stupidity she contentedly acquiesced, and there was a certain convenience in it, from the claim it gave to the help of her more brilliant companions; but Miriam never helped any one to shuffle through a lesson, though she was ready enough to make it easier by her clear and patient explanation. Whenever Emma became plaintively puzzle-headed, Miriam left her to struggle through her difficulties alone, and yet on the next occasion Emma would have recourse to her, rather than to the careless good-nature of another, which might have enabled her to slur over her work 'somehow.'

'I do believe,' Emma said, 'that if you were to teach me instead of Miss Wilson, I might get on a little.'

'You might get on now,' rejoined Miriam,' if, instead of attending to what Miss Wilson says, you were not all the while hugging yourself for your stupidity.'

Emma did not resent the imputation; indeed she never resented anything. 'Do you know,' she said timidly,' that Mamma is so pleased with what I wrote of you, that she wishes you could spend the Christmas holidays with us, as friend or governess, whichever you like. I am sure Papa would not mind what he gave.' For Mr. Barlow was a retired manufacturer, and his daughter enjoyed the distinction of being the richest as well as the dullest girl in the school.

In these words there was an unconscious assertion of the superiority of riches which made Miriam wince, yet she replied, after only a moment's hesi

tation: 'Thank you; I hope to be a governess as soon as I know enough to teach others, and I believe that I could help you now. I am not sure

that my uncle will agree, but if he does, I shall be glad to go with you for the holidays,—as a governess I mean; I don't think I should do for a friend.'

Perhaps not, Emma thought, as she sat down to write to her mother of the way in which her offer was received, adding that it was evident that Miriam must either be very poor, or very unhappy at home, she seemed so anxious to go elsewhere. The matter was more easily arranged on the part of the Barlows than with Uncle Ralph. He wrote with some acerbity, that if Miriam wished to spend her holidays with a school-fellow, she was very welcome to do so; but he saw no necessity for his niece to become a governess as long as he could support her if she wanted money, he would send it to her.

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Miriam's rebellious pride was roused, and several sheets were begun and cast aside before she could frame her answer in a tone submissive enough to satisfy her sense of what was due to her uncle. But she could not force herself to promise submission without betraying how distasteful it was. 'It is easy to put an end to the engagement,' she wrote, 'since it depended on your consent, for I certainly shall not go as a friend. I cannot see why we are to do nothing for ourselves because you have done so much, and I am not ungrateful because I find the obligation oppressive. I will spend my holidays at Duck Dub, if you like,—only

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