It is the mere pedantry of criticism to insist upon the artistic impertinence of this lecturer-with-pointer attitude of Thackeray's. We have learned to prefer the absence of the author; and in the majority of cases he is well-advised not to appear; but few would wish to see Thackeray out of his books. There may be books we can read without any desire for personal acquaintanceship with the author. If Thackeray were not in the habit of breaking off into commentary and personal intrusion, we should begin to wish for it; it is impossible to read his novels without a sense of personal interest in the figure of the author standing behind the narrative. But, as it is, he is always at hand as a delightful guide and instructor and friend.—From "Two Centuries of the English Novel" (1911). LIST OF CHARACTERS MISS BARBARA PINKERTON, presiding over an Academy for Young Ladies. JEMIMA PINKERTON, her sister. AMELIA SEDLEY, afterwards Mrs. George Osborne, an accomplished young lady, yet with more heart than brains. JOHN SEDLEY, Esq., of the Stock Exchange, father of Amelia. MRS. SEDLEY, his wife. JOSEPH SEDLEY, older brother of Amelia, in the East India Company's Civil Service. MRS. BLENKINSOP, housekeeper of the Sedleys. SAMBO, coloured servant of the Sedleys. REBECCA SHARP, afterwards Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, daughter of a poor English artist and a French dancer. A fascinating, clever and unscrupulous adventuress. MISS SWARTZ, a mulatto heiress from St. Kitt's, a school friend of Amelia's. SIR PITT CRAWLEY, a miserly, hard-drinking, disreputable old baronet. ROSA GRAFTON, second wife of Sir Pitt-a colourless and neglected invalid. VIOLET, daughters of Sir Pitt by his second wife. PITT CRAWLEY, a conventional prig-elder son of Sir Pitt by his first wife. RAWDON CRAWLEY, younger son of Sir Pitt Crawley by his first wife -a heavy young rake in the Dragoons. HORROCKS, Sir Pitt Crawley's butler. MISS HORROCKS, his daughter. REV. BUTE CRAWLEY, younger brother of Sir Pitt Crawley—a worldly minded country parson. MRS. BUTE CRAWLEY, his wife, a managing, scheming little woman. MR. OSBORNE, a prosperous merchant in the city, who owes his start in life to Mr. Sedley. JANE, spinster daughter and slave of Mr. Osborne. MARIA, afterwards Mrs. Frederick Bullock, younger daughter of Mr. Osborne. GEORGE OSBORNE, son of Mr. Osborne, and godson of Mr. Sedley, a conceited young officer. MISS WIRT, a "raw-boned vestal," governess to the Misses Osborne. MISS CRAWLEY, half-sister to Sir Pitt Crawley, a shrewd rich old spinster. MISS BRIGGS, Miss Crawley's companion. Bowls, butler at Miss Crawley's. MR. RAGGLES, former butler at Miss Crawley's, and owner of the house on Curzon St. rented by the Rawdon Crawleys. CAPT. WILLIAM DOBBIN, afterwards Major and Lieutenant Colonel, good angel of George Osborne and Amelia Sedley. The MISSES DOBBIN, his sisters. COUNTESS SOUTH DOWN, a strong-minded woman favourably known to the serious world. LADY EMILY HORNBLOWER, her daughter, "author of several delightful tracts." LADY JANE SHEEPSHANKS, afterwards Mrs. Pitt Crawley, younger daughter of Countess Southdown. MR. CLAPP, Mr. Sedley's clerk with whom he takes refuge after his failure. MRS. CLAPP, his wife. MISS MARY CLAPP, their daughter. FREDERICK BULLOCK, of the house of Bullock, Hulker & Bullock, who marries Maria Osborne. ENSIGN STUBBLE, ENSIGN SIMPLE, } subalterns in George Osborne's regiment. MAJOR O'DOWD, commander of Osborne's regiment at Waterloo. GLORVINA O'Dowd, a good-natured Irish girl who fails to ensnare GEORGE OSBORNE, JR., son of Amelia and George Osborne. LADY STEYNE, his wife. LADY GAUNT, his daughter. MR. Moss, the bailiff. FIFINE, Becky Sharp's maid. CAPT. MACMURDO, Rawdon Crawley's friend in his affairs of honour. MR. WENHAM, Lord Steyne's confidential friend. REV. MR. VEAL, little George Osborne's tutor. REV. BEILBY BINNY, curate of the District Chapel, an admirer of Mrs. Osborne. ISIDOR, Belgian servant of Joseph Sedley. KIRSCH, Joseph Sedley's courier. FICHE, servant of Lord Steyne. Doctors, apothecaries, solicitors, clerks, officers, servants, gate keepers, German students, noblemen, auctioneers, school boys, etc. VANITY FAIR A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO W CHAPTER I CHISWICK MALL HILE the present century was in its teens, and on one sunshiny morning in June, there drove up to the great iron gate of Miss Pinkerton's academy for young ladies, on Chiswick Mall, a large family coach, with two fat horses in blazing harness, driven by a fat coachman in a three-cornered hat and wig, at the rate of four miles an hour. A black servant, who reposed on the box beside the fat coachman, uncurled his bandy legs as soon as the equipage drew up opposite Miss Pinkerton's shining brass plate, and as he pulled the bell, at least a score of young heads were seen peering out of the narrow windows of the stately old brick house. Nay, the acute observer might have recognized the little red nose of goodnatured Miss Jemima Pinkerton herself, rising over some geranium-pots in the window of that lady's own drawing room. "It is Mrs. Sedley's coach, sister," said Miss Jemima. "Sambo, the black servant, has just rung the bell; and the coachman has a new red waistcoat." "Have you completed all the necessary preparations incident to Miss Sedley's departure, Miss Jemima?" asked Miss Pinkerton herself, that majestic lady; the Semiramis of Hammersmith, the friend of Doctor Johnson, the correspondent of Mrs. Chapone herself. "The girls were up at four this morning, packing her trunks, sister," replied Miss Jemima; "we have made her a bow-pot." "Say a bouquet, sister Jemima, 'tis more genteel." "Well, a booky as big almost as a hay-stack; I have put up two bottles of the gillyflower-water for Mrs. Sedley, and the receipt for making it, in Amelia's box." "And I trust, Miss Jemima, you have made a copy of Miss Sedley's account. This is it, is it? Very good— ninety-three pounds, four shillings. Be kind enough to address it to John Sedley, Esquire, and to seal this billet which I have written to his lady." In Miss Jemima's eyes an autograph letter of her sister, Miss Pinkerton, was an object of as deep veneration as would have been a letter from a sovereign. Only when her pupils quitted the establishment, or when they were about to be married, and once, when poor Miss Birch died of the scarlet fever, was Miss Pinkerton known to write personally to the parents of her pupils; and it was Jemima's opinion that if anything could console Mrs. Birch for her daughter's loss, it would be that pious and eloquent composition in which Miss Pinkerton announced the event. In the present instance Miss Pinkerton's "billet" was to the following effect "The Mall, Chiswick, June 15, 18—. "Madam,—After her six years' residence at the Mall, I have the honour and happiness of presenting Miss Amelia Sedley to her parents, as a young lady not unworthy to occupy a fitting position in their polished and refined circle. Those virtues which characterise the young English gentlewoman, those accomplishments which become her birth and station, will not be found wanting in the amiable Miss Sedley, whose industry and obedience have endeared her to her instructors, and whose delightful sweetness of temper has charmed her aged and her youthful companions. "In music, in dancing, in orthography, in every variety of embroidery and needle-work, she will be found to have realised her friends' fondest wishes. In geography there is still much to be desired; and a careful and undeviating use of the backboard, for four hours daily during the next three years, is recommended as necessary to the acquirement of that dignified deportment and carriage, so requisite for every young lady of fashion. "In the principles of religion and morality, Miss Sedley will be found worthy of an establishment which has been honoured by the presence of The Great Lexicographer, and the patronage of the admirable Mrs. Chapone. In leaving the Mall, Miss Amelia carries |