very indecent and active emulation, by a wag who threw a handful of nuts upon the stage.' The story felicitously characterises the proceedings that immediately ensued upon the funeral of Mistress Margaret Bertram.

Again. When Diana Vernon has silenced and confounded Frank Osbaldistone by suddenly, and haughtily, checking his flow of complimentary speeches, prepared and elaborated by the young gentleman for the express purpose of bestowing them on the young lady-telling him at once, and once for all, that compliments are thrown away upon her, and begging him therefore not to exhaust his stock in trade, but to keep his fine things for those who may believe in and relish them-seeing the utterly "snubbed" condition of her now dumbfoundered companion, she resumes "her lively and indifferent manner," and says: "You remind me at this moment of the fairy tale, where the man finds all the money which he had carried to market suddenly changed into pieces of slate"t-so completely has she cried down Frank's whole stock of complimentary discourse by one unlucky observation.

"Surely," says Reuben Butler, in the "Heart of Mid-Lothian," when he has counted over the money his douce guid-wife has handed to him— as if to assure himself that the notes were real—“surely there was never man in the world had a wife like mine-a blessing seems to follow her." "Never," Jeannie assents, with sly simplicity and a pat allusion"never since the enchanted princess in the bairn's fairy tale, that kamed gold nobles out o' the tae side of her haffit locks, and Dutch dollars out o' the tother." And thereupon she bids the minister gang away now, and put by the siller, and na keep the notes wampishing in his hand that gate, or she shall wish them in the brown pigg again, for fear of the ill folk in the neighbouring hills.

So, when Jeannie's titled sister, now Lady Staunton, comes to visit the rural mansese-her relationship a necessary secret from all but Jeannie -and amuses herself by visiting the dairy in which, as plain Effie Deans, she had so long been assistant, she nearly discovers herself to the dairywoman by betraying her acquaintance with the celebrated receipt for Dunlop cheese; which makes her ladyship, a woman of wit, and humorous sadness, compare herself to Bedreddin Hassan, whom the vizier, his father-in-law, discovered by his superlative skill in composing cream-tarts with pepper in them. §

When Caleb Balderstone has coolly appropriated the cooper's dinner, and carried it off as a dainty dish to set before the Master of Ravenswood and his guests, the effect of the pursuing horseman's address to him, at first so alarming, but when boldly heard out so unaccountably reassuring, is thus illustrated: "I have heard somewhere a story of an elderly gentleman, who was pursued by a bear that had gotten loose from its muzzle, until completely exhausted. In a fit of desperation, he faced round upon Bruin and lifted his cane; at the sight of which the instinct of discipline prevailed, and the animal, instead of tearing him to pieces, rose up on his hind-legs, and instantly began to shuffle a saraband. Not less than the joyful surprise of the senior, who had supposed himself in the extremity of peril from which he was thus unexpectedly relieved, was

that of our excellent friend Caleb, when he found the pursuer intended to add to his prize, instead of bereaving him of it.”*

The reader (unless a very light reader) of "Kenilworth" will hardly have forgotten the occasion which causes Flibbertigibbet to answer Wayland Smith's salutation of "Ha? is it thou, my minnikin-my miller's thumb-my prince of cacodemons-my little mouse ?" with a reproachfully pat allusion. "Ay," said Dickie, "the mouse which gnawed asunder the toils, just when the lion who was caught in them began to look wonderfully like an ass.”+

The ostler at the Alsatian inn in " Anne of Geierstein," is 66 as sparing of his words, as if, like the Princess in the fairy tale, he had dropped ducats with each of them." The bees imported into the Orkneys by Triptolemus Yellowley die off, not from want of care, but "of ower muckle care, like Lucky Christie's chickens."§ Poor Peter Peebles takes up the cue when old Fairford is stating, in law form, how the rule is for the client to state the cause to the agent, the agent to the counsel,"The counsel to the Lord Ordinary," strikes in Peter, once set a-going, like the peal of an alarum-clock, "the Ordinary to the Inner-House, the President to the Bench. It is just like the rope to the man, the man to the axe, the axe to the ox, the ox to the water, the water to the fire.”|| Peter's pat allusion is certainly to a sufficiently well-known story, in nursery circles, and out of them.

INFORMATION RELATIVE TO MR. JOSHUA TUBBS AND CERTAIN MEMBERS OF HIS FAMILY.

CAREFULLY COMPILED FROM AUTHENTIC SOURCES.

BY E. P. RowSELL.

XXII.

BORROWING OF AN OLD FRIEND.

COME along, Tubbs, my friend, come along: I have been almost tired of waiting for you. You and I must now walk down this hill together. We will be fast companions henceforth, mind you. I shall not allow anybody to separate us, for I do so like you, Tubbs. I like you all the better for having had to wait for you. You are something of a prize now I have got you, and I am full of glee-ha, ha! Tubbs-ha, ha!

Thus spake that old demon Ruin, as he tucked Tubbs's arm under his own, and began to walk smartly with him down the hill of Fortune. Of course they were not going in that direction without companions.

"The Bride of Lammermoor," vol. ii. ch. v.
"Anne of Geierstein," vol. ii. ch. i.
"Redgauntlet," vol. i. letter xiii.

Old

"Kenilworth,” vol. ii. ch. x. § "The Pirate,” vol. ii. ch. xv.

Ruin had a number of friends and associates who were busily occupied with the same kind intent as himself. Strangers were being assisted to the bottom of that great hill in a variety of ways. Some were chatted to and talked with, and pleasantly led on without being suffered to take the least note where they were journeying until they had almost reached their destination; others were advised and persuaded to follow that road. Again, others (and these were by far the larger number) were unceremoniously kicked from top to bottom, the poor wretches grasping, indeed, as they bounded along, at every little trifle which seemed to give a chance of staying their fall, but being always unsuccessful, and never more than for a moment resting until they lay breathless at the hill's base. Here they remained quite still until the time came, in mercy, to each of them, when a fresh impetus rolled them over once or twice more, and deposited them finally in their graves. Ruin might howl over them there as much as he pleased, but they were out of his way, and were not even disturbed by his yell of disappointment and undying hate.

my

Friend of mine-dear friend-let me assist you up this hill. Accept hand. Do not distress yourself, dear friend. With my help you cannot fall. See, we are nearly at the top already. Ah! do you not allow my power to serve them whose names are entered in my book of favour? Observe these poor struggling people coming the same way with us. I do not help them, and so, see the huge stones which lie in their path and impede their progress. Dear friend, I cause all the stones which would hinder you to crumble into fine powder. The up-hill journey which robs these creatures of their breath is smooth, pleasant walking to you, dear friend. Ah! never fear while I smile upon you. A cloud never darkens the face upon which my eyes rest approvingly, and sunshine, indeed, blesses him to whom I give my hand as now I offer it to you.

Thus spake Good Fortune, so sweetly, so fascinatingly, to the Rev. Tolman Tawke. He kissed the hand, and rose up the Right Reverend Father, Lord Bishop of St. Giles's.

Mr. Joshua Tubbs sat in an easy arm-chair, staring at a very dull fire in his parlour grate. There was a sympathy evidently between the gloomy red of the hollow mass of coal and the character of Mr. Tubbs's thoughts. For as the fire was waning, Mr. Tubbs's spirit was fading; and as the fire reminded one of a firm relinquishing business and retiring, so Mr. Tubbs's mind rested upon a general closing and winding-up of his earthly concerns.

Verifying that ancient adage as to misfortune entertaining a great aversion to loneliness, and always preferring to pay visits and make calls in company, no sooner had Mr. Tubbs been waited on by half a dozen writs or so in the matter of the Aldgate Pump and General Life Assurance Company, than his speculative transactions of various kinds, hitherto so prosperous, turned upon him with a frown as black as night, and rivalled the attempts even of the respectable but unfortunate association named to cast him down and crush him.

So no wonder Mr. Tubbs was gloomy, and sat staring with that leaden eye at the expiring flame.

"That bill," he muttered, "must be met to-morrow without doubt, and yet, how in the world is it to be done ?"

That certainly was the question. A few months back, if anybody had hinted to Mr. Tubbs that a matter of five hundred pounds would be a difficulty to him, Mr. Tubbs could either have surveyed the wretch with a pitying glance as one would look upon a very deplorable idiot, or he could have kicked him as a ship's mate would kick a negro cook, just as his humour had inclined him. But now Mr. Tubbs's resources were thin and meagre as those of a country curate, and his power of borrowing in the open market was about on a par with that of the last-named enviably-placed personage. Still it was to be hoped that difficulties might be to some extent arranged; and therefore the object now was to procure sufficient help just to satisfy clamorous and imperative demands, so that no absolute prostration should take place.

As to this bill, then, for five hundred pounds, due to-morrow-where could the means to meet it be obtained? Why, there was Smith, that fine, hearty, good-natured, and wealthy fellow-Smith, who had been such a bosom friend, who had been accustomed to come regularly once a week to dinner-he was just the man to do a little favour of this kind. Mr. Tubbs would call on Smith at once.

And he did call on Smith without delay. And Smith said how glad he was to see him, and shook him by the hand so warmly, and looked so kindly in his face, that Tubbs was quite affected. But then Smith always was such a nice, free, warm-hearted fellow.

Tubbs was not long in mentioning the object of his visit. He surrounded his request with a little army of apologies, and shifted it backwards and forwards so many times, that he seemed uncertain whether he should not withdraw it altogether.

But Mr. Smith eagerly interposed.

"My dear friend, there's no occasion to apologise. It is a most reasonable request. I am quite delighted you have made it, so pray don't distress yourself."

There was positively a tear in little Tubbs's eye. It was so kind of Smith to treat the matter in this handsome way. He could scarcely have refused, of course, but then he might have acquiesced surlily and savagely, and caused Tubbs to bemoan that he should have had to ask him the favour. Tubbs seized Smith's hand, and shook it warmly.

"Nothing gives me greater pleasure," said Smith, with fervour, "than helping a friend when it lies in my power."

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"I am sincerely obliged, my dear Smith," said Tubbs-" truly obliged, I can assure

"Oh, you know," interposed Smith, in a half-reproving tone, and with a most benignant air, "we must all help one another in this world. What would life be without good feeling and friendly disposition amongst us?"

"Ah, what indeed!" exclaimed Tubbs, looking upwards.

"Now, in regard to this little want of yours," resumed Smith, "what pleasure it would have been to me, to be sure, to have assisted you if I had had the means."

"Eh!" exclaimed Tubbs, in amazement, for Smith being notoriously

worth fifty thousand pounds at the least, he thought he could not have heard him aright.

"I say, if I had had the means," repeated Smith, in his blandest tone, and pressing Tubbs's hand most kindly again. But, bless you, you

66

don't know what calls I have upon me just now."
"Eh!" exclaimed Tubbs again, still bewildered.

"What a worry money is," remarked Smith, complacently, gently rubbing his hands." "Do you know, Tubbs, I often wish there was no such thing as money in the world."

"Cannot you lend me the five hundred pounds ?" inquired Tubbs, recovering himself somewhat.

"I am so sorry," replied Smith—"I really am so sorry-you cannot think how sorry I am. If you had asked me, now, only last week,

or the week before that, or if I were not going out of town next week, or if Bless me, I did not know it was so late" (looking at his watch); "will you excuse me-an important engagement."

"Then you cannot lend me the five hundred pounds?" again asked Tubbs, relapsing into a dreamy state.

"I'm sorry-very sorry," replied Smith, putting on his hat-“inexpressibly sorry (ditto his gloves) to say I CANNOT."

Tubbs lifted his eyes, and was about to say something, but instead of Mr. Smith he saw Mr. Smith's footman, who was waiting to show him the door. And Tubbs slowly walked forth, and after staring for a moment at Messrs. Bracelet and Bramble, the confectioners' cart, which was standing outside, having brought materials for an elegant supper which Mr. Smith was to give that evening to about a hundred wealthy people (for with no other guests was Mr. Smith minded that his supper should be furnished), our poor little friend hurried homewards, with dismal forebodings as to the future.

He thought he would just try Jones about this five hundred pounds. Jones's mansion was in his way, and he would call. Having been an old friend, perhaps Jones might do the needful, although, certainly, it showed Tubbs's inexperience in the borrowing line, that he should thus feebly and inconclusively argue. For I cannot forbear a word on this point, reader. If you are really in great difficulty, in sad trouble, in mise rable embarrassment, and you are disposed humbly to ask help of some one, go and make your request to that stranger walking in the road. "Eh? why, he will think me drunk, or foolish, or that I mean to insult him." I dare say he will. I have not much doubt but that he will. And yet, what would you propose to do instead? "Why, I would ask assistance at the hand of some old friend." Just so. I expected as much. Now let me say to you again, petition the stranger, supplicate Moses the money-lender, inquire of Grasp and Greedy the rich lawyers, what they can do for you, attack the old lady coming from the bank with her dividends-all these suggestions of mine are profound wisdom compared with your own proposition, when you are in adversity to seek help from "an old friend!" Oh, dear! this is so very absurd, so truly ridiculous; it shows your judgment to be so very much on the decline, and tells such a woeful tale of decaying intellect!

Jones was at home, and, like Smith, he was very kind. He didn't shrink at all when Tubbs asked him for the five hundred pounds. He