Doctor Swaim was, we believe, a sadler and harness maker, in one of the 'cow-paths' of the renowned and ancient city of 'New Amsterdam.' Such an occupation of course led him into the society of ostlers and farriers, from whom he seems to have imbibed the first notions of becoming a doctor. While this predisposition was upon him, fortunately for the world, he met with a recipe, for some sort of decoction or diet drink, proposed by a French physician; and immediately invented a PANACEA; which, he vouchsafed to sell to the afflicted, for three dollars a bottle, with a suitable discount to wholesale purchasers! Recollecting, that 'a prophet is not without honor save in his own country,' he was not slow in transporting both himself and his elixir vitæ, to the other side of the Jerseys; and opened shop in the city of rectangles and staid habits, where the powers of his decoction soon became so great, as to extort from the very magnates of the profession, those sententious little passports to the confidence of the people, which have ever since gemmed the first pages of his book. In the true spirit of ambition, he speedily sought for new worlds, and embarked his bottles on the ocean; but instead of steering, like his patients, for the 'hollow of the earth,' he wisely directed the prow of his lugger to the famous city of London. Its commander was Dr. William Price, whose first bulletin from Great Britain, was in these encouraging words, to wit:

Liverpool, (England.)

"The Vegetable Syrup, called Swaim's PANACEA, prepared by Mr. Swaim, of Philadelphia, has recently been introduced here by Dr. Price, from the United States of America, where it is now extensively used in the treatment of a variety of Chronic Diseases.

Of the efficacy of this preparation Dr. Price has had abundant and most satisfactory evidence, during a course of experiments made under his direction, whilst Surgeon of the Pennsylvania Hospital; and since his arrival in England, he has had the good fortune of witnessing many additional instances of its successful administration.

The diseases in which this medicine has been particularly useful, are those arising from constitutional causes-as in the various forms of Scrofula, whether affecting the bones, joints, or soft parts; and in cases where a disposition to this disease is manifested by debility only, it operates as a preventive to the local disease by its beneficial effects on the constitution. It is equally efficacious in mercurial disease, and in the secondary forms of syphilis; and has lately been

given with marked success in chronic diseases of the liver, which had resisted the careful exhibition of mercury. It has, likewise, very recently been administered with decided advantage by one of the most distinguished Surgeons in London, in a case which had entirely destroyed the right eye of the patient, and a great portion of the

side of the face.

WM. PRICE, M. D."

"With horns and trumpets now to madness swell,
"Now sink in sorrows with a tolling bell!"

Meanwhile doctor Swaim, with his 'barrels of decoctions," was busy at home, and ere long-

"Men bearded, bald, cowl'd, uncowl'd, shod, unshod;
"Peel'd, patch'd, and pye bald, linsey woolsey brothers,
"Grave mummers! Sleeveless some and shirtless others"-

stood forth as its trumpeters; and testified to its great efficacy in curing the mercurial diseases, produced by the 'regular Doctors.' But in the midst of this splendid success--lugubre dictu--what should be discovered but corrosive sublimate, the STRONGEST of the mercurial preparations, in this very decoction of all the salutiferous plants! Where is now the panacea? Sic transit gloria mundi.

"Is it enough? or must I, while a thrill

"Lives in your sapient bosoms, cheat you still?"

So asks the Genius of Quackery, with an ungrateful smile of contempt; but the 'people' are not easily choked off. They wish for more; and why should they not have it? Is not their will the supreme law of the land? The 'riglar doctors' charge high, and poison them into the bargain with 'mercury, calomel, bleeding, blisters, arsenic, and digitalis.' So says PROF. Rafinesque, Ph. D., M. D. and PULMIST,' and the 'people' cry amen! Now, then, is the golden moment of opportunity, at least for the Professor, who charges for

"First visit in any cases, $5; but every successive visit only $1. The Poor taught to use the Tan bark for $1. Liable individuals taught how to prevent the disease for $1."

Rafinesque is a name not unknown to our Backwoods readers; but many of them may ask, whether the Pulmist is the same with the fishtaker, and ancient chronicler of Kentucky? We answer, that such appears to be the fact; and dismal, indeed, must be the times,' that can make an apothecary's muller of such a learned head. We have not had the advantage of seeing the professor's 'doctor book,' the title of which is prefixed to this article, but his 'circular' lies before us, and affords intrinsic evidence, that the pulmist is no other than the distinguished antiquary who lately settled the limits, and located the wigwams, of our Indian tribes for the last three thousand years! Strange metamorphosis of genius! It was, doubtless, while inquiring into the arts and sciences of these savage hordes, long since extinct, that this extraordinary man exhumed the recipies which are to cure consumption, and all other diseases of the lungs! How clever it is, thus, to compel the tomb to give up the knowledge which enables the doctor and his agents, at the corner of Sixth and Chesnut streets, Philadelphia, to disappoint its future expectations! This is fairly turning the tables upon the grave. But we must no longer trifle with the curiosity of our readers; therefore, let the doctor speak for himself:

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"DESCRIPTION OF THE PULMEL

"It is a peculiar compound substance, formed by the chemical combination of several powerful vegetable principles, acting on the lungs and the whole system. It contains no pernicious nor poisonous substance. The taste and smell are sweet, fragrant, and balsamic.

1. Syrup for internal use.

2. Balsam for inhalation, both liquid and solid.

3. Balsamic Syrup, that may be used in both ways, internally and for breathing.

4. Lotion or Milk of Pulmel, for external use as a wash, for frictions, and to inhale the fragrant smell.

5. Wine of Pulmel, for general use in debility, made with sweet, fragrant, and healthy wines.

6. Sweet Chocolate of Pulmel, in cakes, for internal use.

7. Liquid ditto, in bottles, merely requiring to be mixed with warm water or milk to make a cup of chocolate instantly.

8. Sugar of Pulmel, for internal use; to be used like common sugar, in milk, tea, coffee, or chocolate.

9. Honey of Pulmel, to be used like the Sugar, or eaten with bread.

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10. Lozenges of Pulmel, for the dry cough, sore throat, and painful consumptions.

11. Powders of Pulmel, for internal use; may be sent by mail. Dose six grains.

12. Pulmelin, or Concentrated Salt of Pulmel, for internal use; easily sent by mail. Dose one grain, but double price."

The doctor's circular is embellished with a handsome vignette on wood, having the motto, 'I heal,' addressed no doubt to his patients. This is very well; but, without wishing to be thought officious, we would respectfully recommend, for the next edition, a line, which, if less "ambrosial', to the people, will be more applicable:

"Ye would be dupes and victims, and ye are."

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From the important discoveries made by doctor Thomson,doctor Swaim, doctor Rafinesque, and other gifted' individuals, it may, perhaps, be thought by some, that the 19th century is peculiarly blessed with great men; but in our desire to do equal justice to every age, we are constrained to say that past times have seen their like. There is now on our table that most learned work, in one volume of 1207 pages, printed in London, 1693, and dedicated to queen Mary II. by William Salmon, Professor of Physic, the title of which is prefixed to this article.

Like doctor Thompson, doctor Salmon had been 30 years in the practice of physic, before he produced this "short manual of Physick, design'd for the general use of her Majesties subjects, accommodated to mean capacities, in order to the Restauration of their Healths," and like the reverend orator Robinson, he inquires "Why should the name of COLLEGE bear sway against your MAJESTIES and the KINGDOMS Interests? Or why should not a private man, who possibly may have abilities for such an undertaking, be heard, because he wears not Titles of Honor and Grandure?" Finally, like the modern author of the "New Guide to Health or Botanical Family Physician," doctor Salmon was obliged to strike out a new course. "I have, says he, laboured in an untrodden

Path, and brought forth a Work, the very naming of which alone, were almost enough to affright one from the Attempt. But the thing was to be done, it was necessary to be done, and to be done by some body it must; the public necessity required it, and the general good that such a performance might do to Mankind, were motives to the undertaking.”

What a noble pair of brothers these two benefactors would have made; but then what would the world have done, had nature in a freak thrown them both into the same century. But her ladyship is not so malevolent. She distributes the higher orders of quacks through all ages instead of concentrating them into one, that the people of no particular generation may be in danger of extinction.

Having favored our readers with a few extracts from the modern works which have been named, we shall edify them with some specimens of the 'Druggists Shop Opened.' If the comparison should not be in favor of doctor Salmon's impudence, it will at least show, that he was the prototype of the 'peoples doctors' of 1830.

Notwithstanding so many points of resemblance between doctor Thomson and doctor Salmon, the latter opens shop with the mineral substances, which the former so strongly condemns.

"Who shall decide when quackers disagree?"

Undoubtedly the people: the ultima ratio empiricorum. Let doctor Salmon, then, be heard by the people, before they assign the civic crown to his rival.

"ANTIMONIUM. Antimony.

"A Glorious and most effectual Tincture of Antimony may be thus made: Take our Philosophick Oil (which we have discoursed of in our Phylaxa Med. Lib. 2. Cap. 38.) 3viij. Antimony in fine Powder Ziij. digest in a Sand heat for a week, shaking the Glass once a day; then decant the clear: So will you have a most glorious Tincture of Antimony not inferiour to any other, nor much inferiour to the Tincture of Gold. It is good against all manner of Fevers, Continent and Continual, whether Putrid, non-Putrid, or Pestelential, being certainly one of the greatest Cordials that can be made by humane Wisdom or Industry. It revives the Spirits, chears the Heart, restores the radical Moisture, and comforts to a miracle Languishing Nature. Dose a gut. ad lx. in any proper Vehicle,"