ishment,

You did acknowledge it, this riotous heir,
That would bring all to beggary in the end,
And daily sow'd consumption where he went-
P. Can. You would cozen both then? your
confederate too?

Pick. After a long mature deliberation,
You could not think where better how to place
P. Can. Than on you, rascal? [it

Pick. What you please, in your passion;
But with your reason, you will come about,
And think a faithful and a frugal friend
To be preferr'd.

P. Can. Before a son?

Pick. A prodigal,

A tub without a bottom, as you term'd him!
For which I might return you a vow or two,
And seal it with an oath of thankfulness,
I not repent it, neither have I cause; yet

P. Can. Forehead of steel, and mouth of brass, hath impudence

Polish'd so gross a lie, and dar'st thou vent it?
Engine, composed of all mixt metals! hence,
I will not change a syllable with thee more,
Till I may meet thee at a bar in court,
Before thy judges.

Pick. Thither it must come,
Before I part with it to you, or you, sir.
P. Can. I will not hear thee.

P. jun. Sir, your ear to me though
Not that I see through his perplexed plots,
And hidden ends; nor that my parts depend
Upon the unwinding this so knotted skean,
Do I beseech your patience. Unto me,
He hath confest the trust.

Pick. How! I confess it?

P. jun. Ay, thou false man.

P. Can. Stand up to him, and confront him. Pick. Where, when, to whom?

P. jun. To me, even now, and here:

Canst thou deny it?

Pick. Can I eat or drink,

Sleep, wake, or dream, arise, sit, go, or stand, Do any thing that's natural?

Re-enter Tuo. Barber.

Speak what thou heard'st, the truth, and the
whole truth,
[varlet
And nothing but the truth. What said this
Pick. A rat behind the hangings?
Tho. Sir, he said,

It was a trust! an act, the which your father
Had will to alter; but his tender breast
Would not permit to see the heir defrauded,
And, like an alien, thrust out of the blood.
The laws forbid that he should give consent
To such a civil slaughter of a son·

P. jun. And talk'd of a gratuity to be given,
And aid unto the charges of the suit;
Which he was to maintain in his own name,
But for my use, he said.

P. Can. It is enough.

Pick. I'll prove yours maintenance and comAnd sue you all. [bination,

P. Can. Do, do, my gowned vulture, Crop in reversion! I shall see you quoited Over the bar, as bargemen do their billets.

Pick. This 'tis, when men repent of their good deeds,

And would have 'em in again - They are almost mad:

But I forgive their lucida intervalla.

Enter LICKFINGER.

O, Lickfinger! come hither.

[Comes forward with LICKFINGER; while P. jun. discovers the plot, aside, to his father, and that he is in possession of the deed.

Where's my writing?

Lick. I sent it you, together with your keys. Pick. How?

Lick. By the porter that came for it from you, And by the token, you had given me the keys, And bade me bring it.

Pick. And why did you not?

Lick. Why did you send a countermand?
Pick. Who, I?

Lick. You, or some other you, you put in trust
Pick. In trust!

Lick. Your trust's another self, you know; And without trust, and your trust, how should he

Take notice of your keys, or of my charge?
Pick. Know you the man?

Lick. I know he was a porter,

P. sen. The rogue is drunk,

And a seal'd porter; for he bore the badge

On his broast, I am sure.

Pick. I am lost: a plot! I scent it.

Since I committed them to his charge. Come hither,

Pick. Plague on your trust!

I am truss'd up among you

P. jun. Or you may be.

Pick. In mine own halter; I have made the

noose.

P. jun. What was it, Lickfinger?
Lick. A writing, sir,

He sent for't by a token; I was bringing it,
But that he sent a porter, and he seem'd
A man of decent carriage.

P. Can. 'Twas good fortune!

[Exit.

To cheat the cheater, was no cheat, but justice.
Put off your rags, and be yourself again:
This act of piety and good affection
Hath partly reconciled me to you.

P. jun. Sir

P. Can. No vows, no promises; too much protestation

Makes that suspected oft, we would persuade. Lick. Hear you the news?

P. jun. The office is down, how should we? Lick. But of your uncle?

P. jun. No.

Lick. He is run mad, sir.

P. Can. How, Lickfinger?

Lick. Stark staring mad, your brother,

He has almost kill'd his maid

P. Can. Now heaven forbid !

Lick. But that she is cat-lived and squirrellimb'd,

With throwing bed-staves at her: he has set wide

His outer doors, and now keeps open house
For all the passers by to see his justice.
First, he has apprehended his two dogs,
As being of the plot to cozen him;
And there he sits like an old worm of the peace,
Wrapp'd up in furs, at a square table, screwing,
Examining, and committing the poor curs
To two old cases of close-stools, as prisons:
The one of which he calls his Lollard's tower,
Tother his Block-house, 'cause his two dogs'
Are Block and Lollard.

P. jun. This would be brave matter

Unto the jeerers.

P. Can. Ay, if so the subject

Were not so wretched.

Lick. Sure I met them all,

I think, upon that quest.

P. Can. 'Faith, like enough:

[names

The vicious still are swift to show their natures.
I'll thither too, but with another aim,
If all succeed well, and my simples take.

The sixth, two and thirty; the seventh, three pound four;

The eighth, six pound and eight; the ninth, twelve pound sixteen ;

And the tenth seven, five and twenty pound Twelve shillings. This thou art fallen from by thy riot, [sixpence Shouldst thou live seventy years, by spending Once in the seven: but in a day to waste it! There is a sum that number cannot reach! Out of my house, thou pest of prodigality, Seed of consumption, hence! a wicked keeper Is oft worse than the prisoners. There's thy penny,

Four tokens for thee. Out, away! [Exil Por.] My dogs

May yet be innocent and honest: if not,

I have an entrapping question or two more,
To put unto them, a cross intergatory,
And I shall catch them. Lollard! Peace:
[He calls forth Lollard.

What whispering was that you had with Mort-
gage,
[Ha!
When you last lick'd her feet? the truth now.
Did you smell she was going? Put down that
And not,

Not to return? You are silent: good! And when Leap'd you on Statute? As she went forth? Con

sent!

There was consent, as she was going forth. "Twould have been fitter at her coming home, But you knew that she would not? To your tower You are cunning, are you? I will meet your craft [Commits him again Block, show your face; leave your caresses: tell [Calls forth Block.

me,

And tell me truly, what affronts do you know Were done Pecunia, that she left my house? Nome, say you so? not that you know? or wili know?

I fear me, I shall find you an obstinate cur. Why did your fellow Lollard cry this morning? 'Carise Broker kick'd him? Why did Broker kick him?

Because he pist against my lady's gown?
Why, that was no affront, no, no distaste.
You knew of none? you are a dissembling tyke,
To your hole again, your Block-house. [Com-
mits him. Lollard, arise.

Where did you lift your leg up last, 'gainst
what?
[inercy?
Are you struck dummerer now, and whine for
Whose kirtle was't you gnaw'd too, mistress
Band's?

Statute's white suit, with the parchment lace there;
And Broker's satin doublet? All will out,
They had offence, offence enough to quit me.
Appear, Block, foh! 'tis manifest; he shows it,
Should he forswear't, make all the affidavits
Against it, that he could afore the bench
And twenty juries, he would be convinced.
He bears an air about him doth confess it.
Enter CYMBAL, FITTON, SHUNFIELD, ALMANAC,
and MADRIGAL behind.

To prison again, close prison. Not you, Lollard;
You may enjoy the liberty of the house:
And yet there is a quirk come in my head,
For which I must commit you too, and close.
Do not repine, it will be better for you -
Cym. This is enough to make the dogs mad

too :

Let's in upon him.

[They come forward. P. sen. How now, what's the matter? Come you to force the prisoners? make a rescue? Fit. We come to bail your dogs.

P. sen. They are not bailable,

They stand committed without bail or mainprise, Your bail cannot be taken.

Shun. Then the truth is,

We come to vex you.

Alm. Jeer you.

Mad. Bait you, rather.

Cym. A baited usurer will be good flesh.
Fit. And tender, we are told.
P. sen. Who is the butcher,

Amongst you, that is come to cut my throat?
Shun. You would die a calf's death fain; but
Is meant you.

['tis an ox's

Fit. To be fairly knock'd o' the head. Shun. With a good jeer or two.

P. sen. And from your jaw-bone,

Don Assinigo?

Cym. Shunfield, a jeer; you have it.

Shun. I do confess, a swashing blow; but, Snurl,

You that might play the third dog, for your teeth,

You have no money now?

Fit. No, nor no Mortgage.

Alm. Nor Band.

Mad. Not Statute.

Cym. No, nor blushet Wax.

P. sen. Nor you no office, as I take it.

Shun. Cymbal,

A mighty jeer!

Fit. Pox o' these true jests, I say!
Mad. He'll turn the better jeerer.
Alm. Let's upon him,

And if we cannot jeer him down in wit

Mad. Let's do't in noise.

Shun. Content.

Mad. Charge, man of war.
Alm. Lay him aboard.

Shun. We'll give him a broadside first.
Fit. Where is your venison now?
Cym. Your red-deer pies?
Shun. With your baked turkeys?
Alm. And your partridges?

Mad. Your pheasants and fat swans ?
P. sen. Like you, turn'd geese.

Mad. But such as will not keep your Capitol.
Shun. You were wont to have your breams
Alm. And trouts sent in.

Cym. Fat carps and salmons.
Fit. Ay, and now and then,

An emblem of yourself, an o'ergrown pike.
P. sen. You are a jack, sir.
Fit. You have made a shift

To swallow twenty such poor jacks ere now.
Alm. If he should come to feed upon poor
John-

Mad. Or turn pure Jack-a-lent after all this?
Fit. Tut, he will live like a grasshopper →
Mad. On dew.
[claws.
Shun. Or like a bear, with licking his own
Cym. Ay, if his dogs were away.
Alm. He'll eat them first,

While they are fat.

Fit. Faith, and when they are gone,
Here's nothing to be seen beyond.
Cym. Except

His kindred spiders, natives of the soil.

Alm. Dust he will have enough here, to breed

Lick. See the whole covey is scatter'd ; 'Ware, 'ware the hawks! I love to see them fly. Enter PENNYBOY Canter, PENNYBOY jun., PECUNIA, STATUTE, BAND, WAX, and MORTGAge. P. Can. You see by this amazement and distraction,

What your companions were, a poor, affrighted.
And guilty race of men, that dare to stand
No breath of truth; but conscious to themselves
Of their no-wit, or honesty, ran routed
At every panic terror themselves bred.
Where else, as confident as sounding brass,
Their tinkling captain, Cymbal, and the rest,
Dare put on any visor, to deride

The wretched, or with buffoon license jest
At whatsoe'er is serious, if not sacred.

P. sen. Who's this? my brother! and restored to life!

[wits; P. Can. Yes, and sent hither to restore your If your short madness be not more than anger Conceived for your loss! which I return you. See here, your Mortgage, Statute, Band, and Wax,

Without your Broker, come to abide with you,
And vindicate the prodigal from stealing
Away the lady. Nay, Pecunia herself
Is come to free him fairly, and discharge
All ties, but those of love unto her person,
To use her like a friend, not like a slave,
Or like an idol. Superstition

Doth violate the deity it worships,

No less than scorn doth; and believe it, brother,
The use of things is all, and not the store:
Surfcit and fulness have kill'd more than famine.
The sparrow with his little plumage flies,
While the proud peacock, overcharg'd with
[train,
Is fain to sweep the ground with his grown

pens,

And load of feathers.

P. scn. Wise and honor'd brother! None but a brother, and sent from the dead, As you are to me, could have alter'd me:

I thank my destiny, that is so gracious.
Are there no pains, no penalties decreed
From whence you come, to us that smother
money

In chests, and strangle her in bags ?
P. Can. O, mighty,

Intolerable fines, and mulcts imposed,
Of which I come to warn you: forfeitures
Of whole estates, if they be known and taken.
P. sen. I thank you, brother, for the light you
have given me;

I will prevent them all. First, free my dogs,
Lest what I have done to them, and against law,
Be a præmunire; for by Magna Charta
They could not be committed as close prisoners,
My learned counsel tells me here, my cook :
And yet he shew'd me the way first.
Lick. Who did? I!

I trench the liberty of the subjects!
P. Can. Peace,

Picklock, your guest, that Stentor, hath infected

you,

Whom I have safe enough in a wooden collar. P. sen. Next, I restore these servants to their lady,

With freedom, heart of cheer, and countenance;
It is their year and day of jubilee.
Omnes. We thank you, sir.

P. sen. And lastly, to my nephew

I give my house, goods, lands, all but my vices, And those I go to cleanse: kissing this lady, Whom I do give him too, and join their hands. P. Can. If the spectators will join theirs, we thank 'em.

[cunia

P. jun. And wish they may, as I, enjoy Pe Pec. And so Pecunia herself doth wish, That she may still be aid unto their uses, Not slave unto their pleasures, or a tyrant Over their fair desires; but teach them all The golden mean; the prodigal how to live; The sordid and the covetous how to die : That, with sound mind; this, safe frugality. [Exeunt.

Thus have you seen the maker's double scope,
To profit and delight; wherein our hope
Is, though the clout we do not always hit,
It will not be imputed to his wit:-
A tree so tried, and bent, as 'twill not start:
Nor doth he often crack a string of art;
Though there may other accidents as strange

Happen, the weather of your looks may change,
Or some high wind of misconceit arise,
To cause an alteration in our skies:
If so, we are sorry, that have so misspent
Our time and tackle; yet he's confident,
And vows, the next fair day he'll have us shoot
The same match o'er for him, if you'll come to’t.