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But gin ye be a brig as auld as me,
Tho', faith! that day, I doubt, ye'll never see;
There'll be, if that date come, I'll wad a boddle,
Some fewer whigmeleeries in your noddle.

NEW BRIG.

Auld Vandal, ye but show your little mense, Just much about it wi' your scanty sepse ; Will your poor narrow foot-path o' a street, Where twa wheel-barrows tremble when they meet, Your ruin'd, formless bulk, o'stane an' lime, Compare wi' bonnie Brigs o' modern time? There's men o' taste would tak the Ducat-stream4, Tho' they should cast the vera sark and swim, Ere they would grate their feelings wi' the view O'sic an ugly Gothic hulk as you.

AULD BRIG.

Conceited gowk! puff'd up wi' windy pride! This mony a year I've stood the flood an' tide; And tho' wi' crazy eild I'm sair forfairn, I'll be a Brig, when ye're a shapeless cairn! As yet ye little ken about the matter, But twa-three winters will inform ye better. When heavy, dark, continued, a'-day rains, Wi' deepening deluges o’erflow the plains; When from the hills where springs the brawling Coil, Or stately Lugar's mossy fountains boil, Or where the Greenock winds his moorland course, Or haunted Garpals draws his feeble source, Arous'd by blust'ring winds an' spotting thowes, In mony a torrent down his sna-broo rowes ; While crashing ice, borne on the roaring speat, Sweeps dams, an' mills, an' brigs, a' to the gate;

And from Glenbuck", down to the Ratton-key?,
Auld Ayr is just one lengthen'd, tumbling sea;
Then down ye'll hurl, deil nor ye never rise!
And dash the gumlie jaups up to the pouring skies.
A lesson sadly teaching, to your cost,
That Architecture's noble art is lost!

NEW BRIG.

Fine Architecture, trowth, I needs must say't o't!, The L4d be thankit that we've tint the gate o't! Gaunt, ghastly, ghaist-alluring edifices, Hanging wi' threat'ning jut, like precipices; Owre arching, mouldy, gloom-inspiring coves, Supporting roofs fantastic, stony groves : Windows and doors, in nameless sculpture drest, Wi' order, symmetry, or taste unblest; Forms like some bedlam Statuary's dream, The craz’d creations. o' misguided whim; Forms might be worship'd on the bended knee, And still the second dread command be free, Their likeness is not found on earth, in air, or sea. Mansions that would disgrace the building taste O’ony mason reptile, bird or beast; Fit only for a doited Monkish race, Or frosty maids forsworn the dear embrace, Or Cuifs of later times, wha held the notion That sullen gloom was sterling true devotion; Fancies that our guid Brugh denies protection! And soon may they expire, unblest wi' resurrection!

AULD BRIG.

O ye, my dear-remember'd, ancient yealings, Were ye but here to share my wounded feelings !

Ye worthy Proveses, an' mony a Bailie,
Wha in the paths o' righteousness did toil aye;
Ye dainty Deacons, an' ye douce Conveeners,
To whom our moderns are but causey-cleaners;
Ye godly Councils wha hae blest this town;
Ye godly Brethren o' the sacred gown,
Wha meekly gie your hurdies to the smiters ;
And (what would now be strange) ye godly Writers :
A'
ye

douce folk I've borne aboon the broo,
Were ye but here, what would ye say or do?
How would your spirits groan in deep vexation,
To see each melancholy alteration;
And agonizing, curse the time and place
When ye begat the base, degen'rate race!
Nae langer Rev'rend Men, their country's glory,
In plain braid Scots hold forth a plain braid story!
Nae langer thrifty Citizens, an' douce,
Meet owre a pint, or in the Council-house;
But staumrel, corky-headed, graceless Gentry,
The herryment and ruin o' the country;
Men, three-parts made by Tailors and by Barbers,
Wha waste your weel-hain'd gear ondd new Brig's

and Harbours !

NEW BRIG.

Now haud you there! for faith ye've said enough, And muckle mair than ye can mak to through, As for your Priesthood, I shall say but little, Corbies and Clergy are a shot right kittle: But, under favour o' your langer beard, Abuse o' Magistrates might weel be spar’d: To liken them to your auld-warld squad, I must needs say, comparisons are odd. In Ayr, Wag-wits nae mair can hae a handle To mouth' a Citizen,' a term o' scandal :

Nae mair the Council waddles down the street,
In a' the pomp o ignorant conceit; ,1 bar)"} 39
Men wha grew wise priggin owre hops, an raisins, 1 ]
Or gather'd lib'ral views in Bonds and Seisins. b
If haply Knowledge, on a random tramp,
Had shor'd them wi' a glimmer o' his lamp, b
And would to Common-sense for ance betray'd them,
Plain, dull Stupidity stept kindly in to aid them. vil

What farther clishmaclaver might been said, mit What bloody wars, if Sprites had blood to shed, Nae man can tell; but a' before their sight, ! A fairy train appear’d in order bright:

Hi, ital Adown the glittering stream they featly danc’d; n,' Bright to the moon their various dresses glanc'd ; -, ! They footed owre the wat’ry glass so neat, The infant ice scarce bent beneath their feet: While arts of Minstrelsy among them rung, And soul-ennobling Bards heroic ditties sung. O had M‘Lauchlan 8, thairm-inspiring Sage, Been there to hear this heavenly band engage, When thro' his dear Strathspeys they bore with High

land rage,

Or when they struck auld Scotia’s melting airs,
The lover's raptur'd joys or bleeding cares ;
How would his Highland lug been nobler fir'd,
And ev'n his matchless hand with finer touch inspir'd !
No guess could tell what instrument appear'd,
But all the soul of Music's self was heard;
Harmonious concert rung in every part,
While simple melody pour'd moving on the heart.

The Genius of the Stream in front appears,
A venerable Chief advanc'd in years;
His hoary head with water-lilies crown'd,
His manly leg with garter tangle bound.

Next came the loveliest pair in all the ring,
Sweet Female Beauty hand in hand with Spring ;
Then, crown'd with flow'ry hay, came Rural Joy,
And Summer, with his fervid-beaming eye:
All-cheering Plenty, with her flowing horn,
Led yellow Autumn wreath'd with nodding corn;
Then winter's time-bleach'd locks did hoary show,
By Hospitality with cloudless brow;
Next follow'd Courage with his martial stride,
From where the Feal wild-woody coverts hide;
Benevolence, with mild, benignant air,
A female form, came from the tow'rs of Stair :
Learning and Worth in equal measures trode
From simple Catrine, their long-lov'd abode;
Last, white-rob’d Peace, crown'd with a hazel wreath,
To rustic Agriculture did bequeath
The broken iron instruments of death;
At sight of whom our Sprites forgat their kindling

wrath.

1 A noted tavern at the Auld Brig end.
2 The two steeples.
3 The gos-hawk, or falcon.
4 A noted ford, just above the Auld Brig.

5 The banks of Garpal Water is one of the few places in the West of Scotland, where those fancy-scaring beings, known by the name of Ghaists, still continue pertinaciously to inhabit.

6 The source of the river Ayr.
? A small landing place above the large key.
& A well known performer of Scottish music on the violin.

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