a close prisoner in the Marshalsea,1 for a debt benevolently contracted to serve a friend. I was afterwards twice tapped2 for a dropsy, which declined into a very profitable consumption. I was then reduced to-0 no-then, I became a widow 3 with six helpless children,* after having had eleven husbands pressed,5 and without money to get me into an hospital.

6

Sneer. And you bore all with patience, I make no doubt?

8

Puff. Why, yes, though I made some occasional attempts at felo de se;7 but as I did not find those rash actions answer, I left off killing myself very soon. Well, sir, at last, what with bankruptcies, fires, gouts, dropsies, imprisonments, and other valuable calamities, having 10 got together a pretty handsome sum, I determined to quit a business which had always gone rather against 11 my conscience, and in a more liberal way, still to indulge my talents for fiction and embellishment, through my favourite channels of diurnal communication;12 and so, sir, you have my history.

Sneer. Most obligingly communicative indeed; and your confession, if published, might certainly serve the cause of true charity, by rescuing the most useful channels of appeal to benevolence from the cant of imposition.13 But surely, Mr. Puff, there is no great mystery in your present profession?

Puff. Mystery! sir, I will take upon me to say, the

1 Simply, 'I was then in prison.' 2 See page 21, note 9.

3 See p. 76, latter end of note 8.

4

à force de; and see p. 20, note 11. 10 Leave this word out (translated in note 9).

un peu répugné à.

11 ayant six enfants sur les bras, sans un sou pour les nourrir.

5 après avoir onze fois convolé en secondes noces et avoir vu mes onze maris enlevés l'un après l'autre pour le service maritime.

6 See p. 6, n. 5; 'an,' use 'the.' 7 quelques tentatives de suicide. 8 not to answer,' in this case, ne pas rapporter grand' chose; and use me (to me) together with the verb, here.

9 Well,' &c., enfin, après avoir,

12 de suivre une carrière plus noble, où je pusse (page 25, note 5) cultiver mon talent pour la fiction et le pouf, et mettre ainsi à profit mes moyens de communications journalières avec le public par l'entremise des journaux, moyens qui m'avaient si bien réussi.

13

en interdisant à l'imposture ces utiles moyens de communication entre le malheur et la bienfaisance.

matter was never scientifically treated, nor reduced to rule1 before.

Sneer. Reduced to rule?

Puff. O lud, sir! you are very ignorant, I am afraid.2 Yes, sir; puffing3 is of various sorts: the principal are, the puff direct-the puff preliminary-the puff collateral— the puff collusive, and the puff oblique, or puff by implication. These all assume, as circumstances require, the various forms of 'letter to the editor'-'occasional anecdote'—'impartial critique'-'observation from a correspondent'—or advertisement from the party.'

6

Sneer. The puff direct I can conceive 5

Puff. O yes, that's simple enough. For instance: a new comedy or farce is to be produced at one of the theatres, (though by-the-bye they don't bring out half what they ought to do.) The author, suppose Mr. Smatter, or Mr. Dapper, or any particular friend of mine.7 Very well; the day before it is to be performed, I write an account of the manner in which it was received. I have the plot from the author, and only add-'characters strongly drawn-highly coloured-hand of a masterfund of genuine humour-mine of invention-neat dialogue attic salt! Then for the performance-Mr. Dodd was astonishingly great in the character 10 of Sir Harry; that universal11 and judicious actor, Mr. Palmer, perhaps never appeared to 12 more advantage than in 13 the Colonel; but it is not in the power of language to do justice to Mr. King; indeed, he more than merited those repeated bursts of applause which he drew from 14 brilliant and judicious audience! As to the scenery-the

a most

miraculous powers1 of Mr. De Loutherbourg's pencil are universally acknowledged. In short, we are at a loss which to admire most,-the3 unrivalled genius of the author, the great attention and liberality of the managers, the wonderful abilities of the painter, or the incredible exertions of all the performers!'

Sneer. That's pretty well indeed, sir.

4

Puff. O cool-quite cool-to what I sometimes do." Sneer. And do you think there are any who are influenced by this?

Puff. O, dear! yes, sir ;-the number of those who undergo the fatigues of judging for themselves is very small indeed !10

Sneer. Well, sir,—the puff preliminary?

SWIFT TO LORD TREASURER OXFORD.

(Letter of condolence on the death of the Marchioness of Caermarthen, daughter of the Lord Treasurer.)

MY LORD,- Your Lordship is the person in the world to whom every body ought to be silent upon such an occasion as this, which is only to be supported by the greatest wisdom and strength of mind: wherein, God knows, the wisest and best of us,12 who would presume

to offer their thoughts,1 are far your inferiors. It is true, indeed, that a great misfortune is apt to weaken the mind and disturb the understanding.2 This, indeed, might be some pretence to us to administer our consolations, if we had been wholly strangers to the person gone. But, my Lord, whoever had the honour to know her, wants a comforter as much as your Lordship; because, though their loss is not so great, yet they have not the same firmness and prudence to support the want of a friend, a patroness,5 a benefactor, as you have to support that of a daughter. My Lord, both religion and reason forbid me to have the least concern for that lady's death, upon her own account ;7 and he must be an ill Christian, or a perfect stranger to her virtues, who would not wish himself, with all submission to God Almighty's will, in her. condition. But your Lordship, who hath lost such a daughter, and we, who have lost such a friend, and the world, which hath lost such an example, have,1o in our several degrees,11 greater cause to lament than, perhaps, was ever given by any private person before.12 For, my Lord, I have sat down to think of 13 every amiable quality that could enter into the composition of a lady,14 and could not single out one which she did not 15 possess in as high a perfection as human nature is capable of.16 But, as to your Lordship's own particular,17 as it is an inconceivable misfortune to 18

4

have lost such a daughter, so it is a possession which few can boast of,1 to have had such a daughter. I have often said to your Lordship that I never knew any one, by many degrees, so happy in their domestics as you;2 and I affirm so still, though not by so many degrees ;3 from whence it is very obvious that your Lordship should reflect upon what you have left, and not upon what you have lost. To say the truth, my Lord, you began to be too happy for a mortal; much more happy than is usual with the dispensations of Providence long to continue.5 You had been the great instrument of preserving your country from foreign and domestic ruin;7 you have had the felicity of establishing your family in the greatest lustre, without any obligation to the bounty of your prince, or any industry of your own; you have triumphed over 10 the. violence and treachery of your enemies by your courage and ability, and, by the steadiness of your temper, over the inconstancy and caprice of your friends. Perhaps your Lordship has felt too much complacency within yourself, upon 11 this universal success; and God Almighty, who would not disappoint 12 your endeavours for the public, thought fit to punish you with a domestic loss, where 13 he knew your heart was most exposed; and at the same time has fulfilled his own wise purposes, 14 by rewarding in

9

8

1 Turn, so it is a blessing (bien) which few can boast of possessing -see page 1, note 8. It is a possession... to have had; see page 60, note 2.

2 à beaucoup près aussi heureux dans son cercle domestique qu'ellemême. In such cases as this (with Lordship,' Majesty,' &c.), the French logically keep to the use of the third person (elle même in our translation), instead of passing at once to the second (you,' in our text). See the LA FONTAINE, page 15, line 10 and following.domestics;' see, for a use of this word in nearly the same sense, page 62, note 1.

though,' &c., mais je dirai cette fois à moins de chose près.

4 what is left remains you (to it-note 2, above).'

5 Turn, than one is (see p. 15, n. 9, and p. 29, n. 22) usually long by the dispensations of Providence.'

6 Translate, 'You had powerfully contributed to preserve.'

7 de la ruine qu'entraînent les guerres étrangères et les dissensions intestines (or, les guerres civiles). 8 without owing anything.' 9'or; see page 42, note 8.. 'industry,' in this sense, effort, or travail, or peine. 10 de.

11

une trop grande satisfaction intérieure de.