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JOHN tells a story of Thompson and Rogers, two married bucks of New York, who, wandering home late one night, stopped at what Thompson supposed was his residence, but which his companion insisted was his own house. Thomp- IN ORDER to get an enemy, lend a man a small son rang the bell lustily, when a window was sum of money for a day. Call upon him in a opened and a lady inquired what was wanted week for it. Wait two months. In three months "Madam," inquired Mr. T., "isn't this Mr. insist upon his paying you. He will get angry, T-Thompson's house?" "No," replied the denounce you, and ever after speak of you in lady, "this is the residence of Mr. Rogers." abusive terms. We have seen this experiment "Well," exclaimed Thompson, "Mrs. T-T-tried repeatedly, and never knew it fall.

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South.

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New....

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Morning

H. M.

H.

DAY OF MONTH.

BATAIRISH DAY OF WEEK.

SIDEREAL
NOON.

MOON SOUTH.

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Boston; N. England, N. York N. York City; Philadelphia, Washington; Mary-
State, Michigan, Wisconsin, Conn., N. Jersey, Penn., Ohio, land, Va., Ky., Mo.,
Iowa, and Oregon. Indiana, and Illinois. and California.

SETS.

SUN SUN MOON H. W. SUN SUN MOON H. W. SUN SUN MOON
BOSTON RISES. SETS.
NYORK RISES. SETS. SETS.
H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M.

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sets 1 24 4 317 22 8 50 2 23 4 31 7 23 9 50 3 23 4 307 24 10 45 4 21 4 29 7 25 11 33 5 18 4 297 26 morn 114 287 27 0 17 34 277 28 0 55 30 S 7 27 7 52 4 277 28 1 30 3122 7 23 8 414 267 29 2 2 Moox.-Apogee, 13th; perigee, 25th; on equator, 3d, 17th, 31st; lowest, 10th; highest, 24th.

A BLIND man had been sitting one day, and pleasantly chatting with some visitors for an hour, when one of them wished the company good-morning, and left the room. "What white teeth that lady has !" said the sarcastic blind man. "How can you possibly tell that?" said a friend, "Because, 99 was the ready answer, "for the last half hour she has done nothing but laugh."

"WHY don't you enlist, Ginger?" asked a

white soldier. "Wal, massa," said the contraband, "did you ever see two dogs fightin' for a bone?" "Certainly, Ginger." "Wal, did you ever see de bone fight?" "Not I." "Wal, massa, you're bof fightin' and Ginger's de bone. Guess dis nigger won't fight."

"WERE you guarded in your conduct while in New York?" said a father to his son, who had just returned from his visit to the city. "Yes, sir-part of the time by policemen."

3 54 11 13 4 387 16 4 32 7 55 4 437 10 4 35 11 58 4 377 17 sets 8 43 4 427 11 sets morn 4 36 7 18 8 46 9 34 4 417 12 8 41 0 484 367 19 9 46 10 25 4 417 13 9 42 1 394 357 20 10 41 11 15 4 407 14 10 37 2 33 4 34 7 2011 30 morn 4 39 7 14 11 26 3 27 4 34 7 21 morn 0 13 4 397 15 morn 4 26 4 337 22 0 15 1 13 4 387 16 0 12 5 274 327 23 0 53 2 12 4 387 17 0 51 6 284 327 23 1 30 3 14 4 377 17 1 29 7 304 317 24 2 2 4 14 4 377 18 2 2

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Morning

86876 CONO DAY OF MONTH.

WRSITATE DAY OF WEEK.

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SIDEREAL
NOON.

MOON SOUTH,

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Boston; N. England, N. York||N. York City; Philadelphia, Washington; MaryConn., N. Jersey, Penn., Ohio, land, Va., Ky., Mo., and California.

State, Michigan, Wisconsin,
Iowa, and Oregon.

Indiana, and Illinois.

SUN SUN MOON H. W. SUN SUN MOON H. W. SUN SUN MOON
RISES. SETS SETS. BOSTON RISES. SETS. SETS. NYORK RISES. SETS. SETS.

H. M. н. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M.

H. M.

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5 50 4 247 41 morn 6 39 4 247 41 0 6 28 26 5 33 7 27 4 25 7 40 0 39 29 M 5 29 8 16 4 257 40 1 10 30 T 5 25 9 44 267 40 1 45 MOON.-Apogee, 9th; perigee, 22d; lowest, 7th; on equator, 14th, 27th; highest, 21st.

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A BEAUTIFUL Parisian girl called on a lawyer | of that city noted for his sagacity, to learn how she could compel a certain gentleman, with whom she had fallen in love, to marry her whether or no. "You must contrive to remain alone with him, mademoiselle, three times, and fifteen minutes each time, and have good proof of the fact," said the lawyer. "Very well, Monsieur," replied the girl. She called twice more on the lawyer, remaining alone with him about twenty minutes on each occasion, and at the close of the last interview informed the aston

ished man that he was the person she was after, and that she had her witnesses all on hand in the entry. He married her and was happy.

THE other day a town crier took in charge a lost child, and proceeded to hunt up his parents. On being asked by a lady what the matter was, he replied: "Here's an orphan child, madam, and I'm trying to find his parents."

MARK TWAIN, lecturing on the Sandwich Islands, offered to show how the cannibals eat their food, if some lady would hand him a baby. The lecture was not illustrated.

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SETS.

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Boston N. England, N. York N. York City; Philadelphia, Washington; Mary-
State, Michigan, Wisconsin, Conn., N. Jersey, Penn., Ohio, land, Va., Ky., Mo.,
Iowa, and Oregon.

Indiana, and Illinois.

SUN MOON H. W. SUN SUN MOON
BOSTON RISKS. SETS.

SUN
RISES. SETS.

SETS.

H. M.

and California.

H. W. SUN SUN MOON NYORK RISES. SETS. SETS.

H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M.

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4 35 4 44 7 28 10 41 3 47 5 24 4 45 7 27 11 12 8 43 6 13 4 467 26 11 47 7 24 477 25 morn 7 50 4 487 24 0 22 8 39 4 49 7 23 30 T 3 27 9 28 4 507 22 31 F 3 23 10 17 4 517 21 Moox.-Apogee, 7th; perigee, 20th; lowest, 4th, 81st; on equator, 11th, 24th; highest, 18th.

A PROSY lay member of the church rose in meeting and said. "My friends, the devil and I have been fighting for more than twenty minutes. He told me not to speak to-night; but I determined that I would. He said that some of the rest could speak better than I; but still I felt that I could not keep silent. He even whispered that I spoke too often, and that nobody wanted to hear me; but I was not to be put down that way; and now I have gained the

victory, I must tell you all that is in my heart."" Then followed a tedious harangue. Coming out of the session room the good pastor inclined his head so that his mouth approached the ear of the militant member, and whispered: "Brother, I think the devil was right!"

BURY your troubles, but don't linger around the grave-yard conjuring up their ghosts to haunt you.

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Morning

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SUN SUN MOON | H. W. SUN SUN MOON H. W. SUN SUN MOON

SETS.

SETS. BOSTON RISES. SETS.

SETS. H. M. H. M. H. M. H. M.

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Conn., N. Jersey, Penn., Ohio,
Indiana, and Illinois.

Washington; Maryland, Va., Ky., Mo., and California.

H. M. H.

RISES.
M. H. M. H. M.

SETS. NYORK RISES. SETS.

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29 S 1 29 9 49 5 21 6 39 30 35 1 25 10 35 5 226 38 31 M 1 21 11 20 5 23 6 36 3 54 10 23 MOON.-Apogee, 3d and 30th; perigee, 17th; on equator, 8th, 20th; highest, 15th; lowest, 27th.

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A NEWBURYPORT school teacher about to marry a widower with a number of children, sent in her resignation to the committee, because she "had engaged for an indefinite period of time as an assistant in a private family."

A QUAKER lady recently explained to her new domestic that washing day came on every Second Day. The girl left in high dudgeon. She didn't go to be washing every other day. Not she.

MUST BE HEALTHY.-In reply to the question whether the Nicholson pavement is healthy, a Western paper says that all the contractors have got fat on it.

AT ONE of the schools in Cornwall the inspector asked the children if they could quote any text of Scripture which forbade a man having two wives. One of the children sagely quoted in reply the text, "No man can serve two masters. "

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