VANITY FA I R.

A NOVEL WITHOUT A HERO.

CHAPTER I.

CHISWICK MALL.

seal this billet which I have written to his lady."

In Miss Jemima's eyes an autograph létter of her sister, Miss Pinkerton, was an object of as deep veneration, as would have been a letter from a sovereign. Only when her pupils quitted the establishment, or when they were about to be married, and once, when poor Miss Birch died of the scar

personally to the parents of her pupils; and it was Jemima's opinion that if any thing could console Mrs. Birch for her daughter's loss, it would be that pious and eloquent composition in which Miss Pinkerton announced the event.

WHILE the present century was in its teens, and on one sun-shiny morning in June, there drove up to the great iron gate of Miss Pinkerton's academy for young ladies, on Chiswick Mall, a large family coach, with two fat horses in blazing harness, driven by a fat coachman in a three-let fever, was Miss Pinkerton known to write cornered hat and wig, at the rate of four miles an hour. A black servant, who reposed on the box beside the fat coachman, uncurled his bandy legs as soon as the equipage drew up opposite Miss Pinkerton's shining brass plate, and as he pulled the bell, at least a score of young heads were seen peering out of the narrow windows of the stately old brick house. Nay, the acute observer might have recognized the little red nose of good-natured Miss Jemima Pinkerton herself, rising over some geranium-pots in the window of that lady's own drawing-room.

"It is Mrs. Sedley's coach, sister," said Miss Jemima. "Sambo, the black servant, has just rung the bell; and the coachman has a new red waistcoat."

“Have you completed all the necessary preparations incident to Miss Sedley's departure, Miss Jemima?" asked Miss Pinkerton herself, that majestic lady: the Semiramis of Hammersmith, the friend of Doctor Johnson, the correspondent of Mrs. Chapone herself.

In the present instance Miss Pinkerton's "billet" was to the following effect:

"The Mall, Chiswick, June 15, 18—. "MADAM,

"After her six years' residence at the Mall, I have the honor and happiness of presenting Miss Amelia Sedley to her parents, as a young lady not unworthy to occupy a fitting position in their polished and refined circle. Those virtues which characterize the young English gentlewoman, those accomplishments which become her birth and station, will not be found wanting in the amiable Miss Sedley, whose industry and obedience have endeared her to her in structors, and whose delightful sweetness of temper has charmed her aged and her youthful companions.

"The girls were up at four this morning, packing her trunks, sister," replied Miss Jemima; we have made her a bow-in pot."

"In music, in dancing, in orthography, every variety of embroidery and needlework, she will be found to have realized her friends' fondest wishes. In geography there is still much to be desired; and a careful and undeviating use of the backboard, for four hours daily during the next three years, is recommended as necessary to the acquirement of that dignified deportment and carriage, so requisite for every young lady of fashion.

"In the principles of religion and morality, Miss Sedley will be found worthy of an establishment which has been honored by

"P.S. Miss Sharp accompanies Miss Sedley. It is particularly requested that Miss Sharp's stay in Russell Square may not exceed ten days. The family of distinction with whom she is engaged, desire

to avail themselves of her services as soon as possible."

This letter completed, Miss Pinkerton proceeded to write her own name, and Miss Sedley's, in the fly-leaf of a Johnson's Dictionary--the interesting work which she invariably presented to her scholars, on their departure from the Mall. On the cover was inserted a copy of “Lines addressed to a young lady on quitting Miss Pinkerton's school, at the Mall; by the late revered Doctor Samuel Johnson." In fact, the Lexicographer's name was always on the lips of this majestic woman, and a visit he had paid to her was the cause of her reputation and her fortune.

Being commanded by her elder sister to get "the Dictionary" from the cupboard, Miss Jemima had extracted two copies of the book from the receptacle in question. When Miss Pinkerton had finished the inscription in the first, Jemima, with rather a dubious and timid air, handed her the second.

"For whom is this, Miss Jemima?" said Miss Pinkerton, with awful coldness.

Although schoolmistresses' letters are to be trusted no more nor less than churchyard epitaphs; yet, as it sometimes happens that a person departs this life, who is really deserving of all the praises the stonecutter carves over his bones; who is a good Christian, a good parent, child, wife or husband; who actually does leave a disconsolate family to mourn his loss; so in academies of the male and female sex it occurs every

now and then, that the pupil is fully worthy of the praises bestowed by the disinterested instructor. Now, Miss Amelia Sedley was a young lady of this singular species, and deserved not only all that Miss Pinkerton said in her praise, but had many charming qualities which that pompous old Minerva of a woman could not see, from the differences of rank and age between her pupil and herself.

For she could not only sing like a lark, or a Miss Billington, and dance like Hillisberg or Parisot; and embroider beautifully; and spell as well as the Dixonary itself; but she had such a kindly, smiling, tender, gentle, generous heart of her own, as won the love of every body who came near her, from Minerva herself down to the poor girl in the scullery, and the one-eyed tartwoman's daughter, who was permitted to vend her wares once a week to the young ladies in the Mall. She had twelve intimate and bosom friends out of the twenty-four young ladies. Even envious Miss Briggs never spoke ill of her: high and mighty Miss Saltire (Lord Dexter's grand-daughter) allowed that her figure was genteel: and as for Miss Swartz, the rich woolly-haired mulatto from St. Kitt's, on the day Amelia went away, she was in such a passion of tears, that they were obliged to send for Dr. Floss, and half tipsify her with sal volatile. Miss Pinkerton's attachment was as may be supposed, from the high position and eminent virtues of that lady, calm and dignified; but Miss Jemima had already blubbered several times at the idea of Amelia's departure; and, but for fear of her sister, would have gone off in downright hysterics, like the heiress (who paid double) of St. Kitt's. Such luxury of grief, however, is only allowed to parlorboarders. Honest Jemima had all the bills, and the washing, and the mending, and the puddings, and the plate and crockery, and the servants to superintend. But why speak about her? It is probable that we shall not hear of her again from this moment to the end of time, and that when the great filligree iron gates are once closed on her, she and Miss Sedley's papa was a merchant in her awful sister will never issue there from London, and a man of some wealth; where-into this little world of history. as Miss Sharp was an articled pupil, for But as we are to see a great deal of Amewhom Miss Pinkerton had done, as she lia, there is no harm in saying at the outset thought, quite enough, without conferring of our acquaintance, that she was one of the upon her, at parting, the high honor of the best and dearest creatures that ever lived; Dixonary. and a great mercy it is, both in life and in

"For Becky Sharp," answered Jemima, trembling very much, and blushing over her withered face and neck, as she turned ber back on her sister. 66 For Becky Sharp: she's going too." "MISS JEMIMA!" exclaimed Miss Pinkerton, in the largest capitals. "Are you in your senses? Replace the Dixonary in the closet, and never venture to take such a liberty in future."

"Well, sister, it's only two-and-ninepence, and poor Becky will be miserable if she don't get one."

"Send Miss Sedley instantly to me," said Miss Pinkerton. And so, venturing not to say another word, poor Jemima trotted off, exceedingly flurried and nervous.

novels, which (and the latter especially) small and weather-beaten old cow's-skin
abound in villains of the most somber sort, trunk, with Miss Sharp's card neatly nailed
that we are to have for a constant com- upon it, which was delivered by Sambo with
panion, so guileless and good-natured a per- a grin, and packed by the coachman with
son. As she is not a heroine, there is no a corresponding sneer-the hour for parting
need to describe her person; indeed I am came; and the grief of that moment was
afraid that her nose was rather short than considerably lessened by the admirable dis-
otherwise, and her cheeks a great deal too course which Miss Pinkerton addressed to
round and red for a heroine; but her face her pupil. Not that the parting speech
blushed with rosy health, and her lips with caused Amelia to philosophize, or that it
the freshest of smiles, and she had a pair of armed her in any way with a calmness, the
eyes, which sparkled with the brightest and result of argument; but it was intolerably
honestest good-humor, except, indeed, when dull, pompous, and tedious; and having the
they filled with tears, and that was a great fear of her schoolmistress greatly before her
deal too often; for the silly thing would cry eyes, Miss Sedley did not venture, in her
over a dead canary bird, or over a mouse, presence, to give way to any ebullitions of
that the cat haply had seized upon, or over private grief. A seed-cake and a bottle of
the end of a novel, were it ever so stupid; wine were produced in the drawing-room,
and as for saying an unkind word to her, as on the solemn occasions of the visit of
were any one hard-hearted enough to do parents, and these refreshments being par-
so-why, so much the worse for them. taken of, Miss Sedley was at liberty to de-
Even Miss Pinkerton, that austere and god-part.
like-woman, ceased scolding her after the "You'll go in and say good by to Miss
first time, and though she no more compre- Pinkerton, Becky?" said Miss Jemima to a
hended sensibility than she did Algebra, young lady of whom nobody took any notice,
gave all masters and teachers particular and who was coming down stairs with her
orders to treat Miss Sedley with the utmost own bandbox.
gentleness, as harsh treatment was injuri-
ous to her.

"I suppose I must," said Miss Sharp, calmly, and much to the wonder of Miss Jemima; and the latter, having knocked at the door, and receiving permission to come in, Miss Sharp advanced in a very unconcerned manner, and said in French, and with a perfect accent, Mademoiselle, jo viens vous faire mes adieux."

66

"Miss Pinkerton did not understand French; she only directed those who did: but biting her lips, and throwing up her venerable and Roman-nosed head (on the top of which figured a large and solemn turban), she said, "Miss Sharp, I wish you a good morning." As the Hammersmith Semiramis spoke, she waved one hand both by way of adieu, and to give Miss Sharp an opportunity of shaking one of the fingers of the hand which was left out for that purpose.

So that when the day of departure came, between her two customs of laughing and crying, Miss Sedley was greatly puzzled how to act. She was glad to go home, and yet most wofully sad at leaving school. For three days before, little Laura Martin, the orphan, followed her about like a little dog. She had to make and receive at least fourteen presents to make fourteen solemn promises of writing every week : "Send my letters under cover to my grandpapa, the Earl of Dexter," said Miss Saltire (who, by the way, was rather shabby): "Never mind the postage, but write every day, you dear darling," said the impetuous and woollyheaded, but generous and affectionate Miss Swartz; and little Laura Martin, (who was just in round hand) took her friend's hand, and said, looking up in her face wistfully, "Amelia, when I write to you, I shall call you Mamma." All which details, I have Do doubt, Jones, who reads this book at his Club, will pronounce to be excessively foolish, trivial, twaddling, and ultra-sentimental. Yes; I can see Jones at this minute (rather flushed with his joint of mutton and halfpint of wine), taking out his pencil and scoring under the words "foolish, twaddling," &c., and adding to them his own remark of "quite true." Well, he is a lofty man of genius, and admires the great and heroic in life and novels; and so had better Then came the struggle and parting betake warning and go elsewhere. low. Words refuse to tell it. All the serv"Well, then. The flowers, and the pres-ants were there in the hall-all the dear ents, and the trunks, and bonnet-boxes of friends-all the young ladies-the dancingMiss Sedley having been arranged by Mr. master who had just arrived; and there was Sambo in the carriage, together with a very such a scuffling, and hugging, and kissing,

Miss Sharp only folded her own hands with a very frigid smile and bow, and quite declined to accept the proffered honor; on which Semiramis tossed up her turban more indignantly than ever. In fact, it was a little battle between the young lady and the old one, and the latter was worsted. "Heaven bless you, my child," said she, embracing Amelia, and scowling the while over the girl's shoulder at Miss Sharp. "Come away, Becky," said Miss Jemima, pulling the young woman away in great alarm, and the drawing-room door closed upon them forever.

and crying, with the hysterical yoops of Miss Swartz, the parlor-boarder, from her room, as no pen can depict, and as the tender heart would fain pass over. The embracing was over; they parted-that is, Miss Sedley parted from her friends. Miss Sharp had demurely entered the carriage some minutes before. Nobody cried for leaving her.

Sambo of the bandy-legs slammed the carriage-door on his young, weeping mistress. He sprang up behind the carriage. Stop!" cried Miss Jemima, rushing to the gate with a parcel.

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fifty years in the course of that evening.
Dr. Raine and his rod were just as awful to
him in his heart, then, at sixty-eight, as they
had been at thirteen. If the Doctor, with a
large birch, had appeared bodily to him, even
at the age of threescore and eight, and had
said, in an awful voice, “Boy, take down
your pant... ?" Well, well, Miss Sed-
ley was exceedingly alarmed at this act of in-
subordination.
Rebecca?" at last

How could you do So,
she said, after a pause.

"Why, do you think Miss Pinkerton will come out and order me back to the blackhole?" said Rebecca, laughing. 66 No: but

66

I hate the whole house," continued Miss Sharp, in a fury. 'I hope I may never set eyes on it again. I wish it were in the bottom of the Thames, I do; and if Miss Pinkerton were there, I wouldn't pick her out,

"It's some sandwiches, my dear," said she to Amelia. "You may be hungry, you know; and Becky, Becky Sharp, here's a book for you that my sister—that is, I— Johnson's Dixonary, you know; you mustn't leave us without that. Good by. Drive on, coachman. God bless you!" And the kind creature retreated into the that I wouldn't. O, how I should like to see garden, overcome with emotions.

But, lo! and just as the coach drove off, Miss Sharp put her pale face out of the window, and actually flung the book back into the garden.

This almost caused Jemima to faint with terror. "Well, I never"—said she-" what an audacious”—Emotion prevented her from completing either sentence. The carriage rolled away; the great gates were closed; the bell rang for the dancing lesson. The world is before the two young ladies; and so, farewell to Chiswick Mall.

CHAPTER II.

IN WHICH MISS SHARP AND MISS SEDLEY
PREPARE TO OPEN THE CAMPAIGN.

WHEN Miss Sharp had performed the heroical act mentioned in the last chapter, and had seen the Dixonary flying over the pavement of the little garden, fall at length at the feet of the astonished Miss Jemima, the young lady's countenance, which had before worn an almost livid look of hatred, assumed a smile that perhaps was scarcely more agreeable, and she sank back in the carriage in an easy frame of mind, saying— "So much for the Dixonary; and, thank God, I'm out of Chiswick ?"

her floating in the water yonder, turban and
all, with her train streaming after her, and
her nose like the beak of a wherry."
"Hush!" cried Miss Sedley.

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Why, will the black footman tell tales?" cried Miss Rebecca, laughing. "He may go back and tell Miss Pinkerton that I hate her with all my soul; and I wish he would; and I wish I had a means of proving it, too. For two years I have only had insults and outrage from her. I have been treated worse than any servant in the kitchen. I have never had a friend or a kind word, except from you. I have been made to tend the little girls in the lower schoolroom, and to talk French to the Misses, until I grew sick of my mother tongue. But that talking French to Miss Pinkerton was capital fun, wasn't it? She doesn't know a word of French, and was too proud to confess it. I believe it was that which made her part with me; and so thank Heaven for French. Vive la France! Vive l'Empereur! Vive Bonaparte!"

"Oh, Rebecca, Rebecca, for shame!" cried Miss Sedley; for this was the greatest blasphemy Rebecca had as yet uttered; and in those days, in England, to say, "Long live Bonaparte!" was as much as to say, Long live Lucifer!" "How can youhow dare you have such wicked, revengeful thoughts?"

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Revenge may be wicked, but it's natural," answered Miss Rebecca. "I'm no angel." And, to say the truth, she certainly was not.

Miss Sedley was almost as flurried at the act of defiance as Miss Jemima had been; for, consider, it was but one minute that she had left school, and the impressions of six years are not got over in that space of time. For it may be remarked in the course of Nay, with some persons, those awes and this conversation (which took place as the terrors of youth last forever and ever. I coach rolled along lazily by the river side), know, for instance, an old gentleman of sixty-that though Miss Rebecca Sharp has twice eight, who said to me one morning at breakfast, with a very agitated countenance, "I dreamed last night that I was flogged by Dr. Raine." Fancy had carried him back only

had occasion to thank Heaven, it has been, in the first place, for ridding her of some person whom she hated, and secondly, for enabling her to bring her enemies to some