Now here altogether we have such a change in human life as to constitute a fresh phase of history. In a little more than a century this mechanical revolution has been brought about. In that time man made a stride in the material conditions of his life vaster than he had done during the whole long interval between the palaeolithic stage and the age of cultivation, or between the days of Pepi in Egypt and those of George III. A new gigantic material framework for human affairs has come unto existence. Clearly it demands great readjustments of our social, economical, and political methods. But these readjustments have necessarily waited upon the development of the mechanical revolution, and they are still only in their opening stage to-day. A BIT OF NONSENSE. The copies of a specification for patent and office answer thereto, which follow, are frightful examples of the possibilities of the practice if permitted to develop in certain illogical directions. The originals form no part of any official record, but deserve to be perpetuated in printer's ink as valuable historical documents. The attempted specification and threatened office action explain themselves and need no further comment: Specification of Invention for Improvement in Feline Fodder. My invention relates to a new and useful improvement in Cat Biscuit, which has for its object the production of a food in a form especially attractive to that objectionable and disgusting, but widely entertained domestic animal. It consists essentially in a Biscuit made in the outline form of a fish or a mouse, and composed of ingredients to which all cats are very parital. I have found that the one great objection to the ordinary forms of Cat Biscuit is that no cat will even think of eating them, and after a long and exhausting study of the subject and a remarkable series of experiments, I have devised the following surprising and scientific improvements. Starting with the well known scientific fact that all animals prefer a form of food that is attractive to them, I conceived that, as all cats have an almost religious love for fish and mice, the making of the Cat Biscuit in a form resembling those creatures would solve the first part of the problem and draw the attention and excite the appetite of the cat. That this psychological phenomenon in fact came to pass has been repeatedly proven by the applicant, who has often observed the almost magical effect of his Biscuits when placed in the vicinity of the animal in question. They invariably dash wildly upon it, emitting cat-calls and other appropriate noises as they seize it. While, however, the shape alone is often sufficient to awaken the cat's appetite to such an extent that the food is completely devoured, the applicant has found that with some cats, especially Angora cats and cats over ten years of age, it is necessary to supplement allurement. of form by charm of ingredients, which led to the second series of experiments resulting in the additional astounding discoveries which are here set forth, and which can scarcely fail to attract the attention of the civilized world. Proceeding upon the well known and extremely scientific principle that certain animals like certain things better than others, the applicant conceived the idea of making Cat Biscuit of ingredients which science, race experience and horse-sense have long determined to be especially charming to the cat, and in making the preferred form of Biscuit, the following formula may be used as illustrative, though the applicants wants it disitnetly understood that he does not confine himself to this formula, or to anything in particular, but reserves the privilege of using a part or none of the ingredients: Whole wheat flour Ground mouse bones Cat fish Cat-o-nine-tails Catnip Waste milk 1 pint 2 ounces 4 ounces This formula may be varied in making a biscuit especially attractive to Tom cats, by using Red Dog flour in place of Whole Wheat flour. Even the combination of tempting ingrdeients and pleasing shape, however, have been found, in the case of bob-tailed cats and cats of over thirty-five years, to be not wholly effective, and to reach such cases, the applicant has found it desirable and effective to equip the biscuits, by suitable means, with a suitable device in the form of a whistle, so that when the biscuit is seized by such recalcitrant cats, it gives forth a noise like a mouse, whereupon it is instantly devoured. If it be objected that biscuits such as are herein described will prove too expensive to be of any practical value, it is sufficient to say that any one foolish enough to keep a cat will readily pay any price demanded for this invention. Having now described the invention so that any one not skilled in the art can readily construct the product, and while not by any means limiting myself to anything in any way, what I claim is: 1. As an improved food product, an article of food suitable for cats. 2. As an improved food product, an article of food suitable for bob-tailed cats and maltese cats. 3. In a cat biscuit, a biscuit made in the shape of a mouse or a fish or other animal or bird. 4. In a cat biscuit, a biscuit comprised of the ingredients above set forth, or of any part thereof, or of various other ingredients not herein mentioned for reasons best known to applicant. 5. The process of making the said biscuits, consisting of placing the said ingredients or any of them, or others, as the case may be, in a suitable receptacle and mixing them up and then forming the resultant mass into the shapes of mice, fish or other forms. Invented, March 9, 1908. Office Answer. Please find below a communication from the Examiner in charge of your application for Feline Fodder filed March 9, 1908, Serial No. 000,000,000. Applicant should remit filing fee at once. This omission is ordinarily fatal to any consideration of the case, but application is revivified in this instance to induce the payment while applicant is in possible possession of the fee. An oath is also required, and in submitting same, applicant is cautioned to couch it in language fit to print, use of other kinds of oaths being reserved to the Examiner. The terms of disapprobation applied in the first page to the animal under discussion appear to be unwarranted by the state of the art, no foundation therefor being derivable from the office records. In the paragraph following, the reference to applicant's study of the subject as "exhausting" is misleading and not pertinent, not being indicative of the capacity and energy of the inventor. One may become exhausted or predisposed in this direction with considerable facility. See T. R. pages 1 to 600, on the "Strenuous Life", (copy on file in Sunday School Library of this office). The office, however, for purpose of examination will consider that the experiments are "remarkable". Page 3, line 3, the word "religious" should be canceled, the question of animals having a soul not having been properly adjudicated before the tribunals of this office. The word is also functional. Same page, last line, "appropriate noises" is objectionable as vague and indefinite. Applicant should specify with precision what noises are appropriate to these animals in such language that the same may be readily recognized and understood as such if heard. Page 2, line 3, the term "civilized" is unnecessarily limited. Patent rights are extended to all parts of the U. S. and Staten Island, and no statement should be made in an official document that gratuitously reflects upon Chicago and Dongan Hills. In the 2nd paragraph, page 2, objection is made to the use of the word "horse-sense" as having a tendency to confuse with the animals already in the case. The description should be limited and simple so as not to strain the understanding of the Examiner, the right of the Examiner to limit his intelligence being too well known to need extended argument. (See N. G. 414). The last paragraph on page 2 is too trite to require reference. Knowledge of the dementia that accompanies ownership of this feline beast has even penetrated into the six-foot walls of the Government buildings, and publication of this fact is a needless dissipation of knowledge. The preamble to the claims appears to be stated in language unfamiliar to the office, and the Examiner reserves the right ot rescrutinize it in the next action. The claims are rejected as incomplete. The "cat" should be included to make the preparation operative. Care should be taken to provide a specific kind of feline, as it is not at all evident that a legitimate combination could exist between members of this family in general and the explosive compound described in the text. If it is intended to claim the whistle in the product or the strangely emitted noise, a separate application is required. In this event, the office will reject same on grounds of public policy. The claims are again rejected for any or no reason in particular. This rejection is made final on the first action, although the case will be temporarily opened to receive the final fee. |