Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing: Still More Urban Folklore from the Paperwork EmpireWayne State University Press, 1991 - 433 lappuses Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing documents the thriving folklore tradition that circulates in the workplace. Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing documents the thriving folklore tradition that circulates in the workplace. Alan Dundes and Carl Pagter have collected more than two hundred and fifty "signs of the times"--the office memoranda, parodies, cartoons, and poems that daily make their way through copy machines, interoffice mail systems, and fax machines and are affixed to bulletin boards and water coolers. The rich vein of urban folklore tapped by this imaginative volume constitutes a great testament to one of the world's most prolific authors--anonymous. |
Saturs
Preface | 15 |
Introduction | 17 |
Abbreviations | 22 |
A Word to the Wise | 24 |
The Electrocardial Guide | 26 |
Employee Evaluation Form | 28 |
Terms Used in Writing Fitness Reports | 30 |
A Glossary of Nautical Terms | 32 |
Time Marches On | 206 |
The Horse and Mule Live Thirty Years | 208 |
To My Critics | 209 |
Lets Be Friends | 211 |
When I Am Dead and in My Grave | 212 |
Love | 213 |
Im Fine | 214 |
My Get Up and Go Has Got Up and Went | 215 |
Useful Arabic Phrases | 33 |
Official Polish Italian Sex Quiz | 35 |
Definition of Diplomacy | 38 |
Hell | 39 |
Patience | 40 |
God Grant Me Patience | 41 |
The Play | 43 |
The PissedOff Cowboy | 45 |
What Not to Name Your Dog | 46 |
Lost Dog | 47 |
Stress | 50 |
Twentysix Ways to Relieve Stress | 53 |
Stress Diet | 54 |
Recipe for Stuffed Camel | 56 |
Elephant Stew | 57 |
Best Ever Rum Cake | 58 |
Fishin Line | 59 |
In Honour of National Condom Week | 62 |
This Really Bothers You | 65 |
TShirt Quotes | 67 |
Signs of the Times | 69 |
Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing | 70 |
Its Difficult to Soar with Eagles | 72 |
The Rat Race Is Over | 76 |
Dont Drink Water | 77 |
Be Like a Duck | 78 |
A Moving Experience | 80 |
The Only Difference | 81 |
Tell Me Again | 82 |
Of Course I Want It Today | 84 |
Poor Planning | 87 |
Proper Planning | 88 |
Plan Ahead | 89 |
All Skill Is in Vain | 90 |
No Amount of Planning | 91 |
Christmas Has Been Cancelled | 92 |
The Floggings Will Continue | 93 |
When You Throw a Little Dirt | 94 |
Old Age and Treachery | 95 |
Use Your Head | 96 |
Work Better Under Pressure | 97 |
Your Rush Job | 98 |
As Soon as the Rush Is Over | 99 |
We Welcome Your Problems | 100 |
We Welcome Advice | 102 |
This Office Is Open | 103 |
Employees Cooperation | 104 |
Suppose We Refund Your Money | 105 |
Please Dont Ask for Information | 106 |
Answers Price List 108 | 108 |
Labor Rates | 109 |
Just When I Knew All the Answers | 111 |
When Im Right | 112 |
Security is Like Virginity | 113 |
Be Sure to Work Eight Hours | 114 |
A Day Off | 115 |
Im Tired | 116 |
This Life Is a Test | 118 |
No Physical Fitness Program | 119 |
Quitting Time | 120 |
In Case of Fire | 121 |
This Property Protected | 122 |
Be Tolerant | 124 |
People Who Think They Know Everything | 125 |
Nobody Is Perfect | 127 |
When Things Go Wrong | 128 |
Dont Quit | 129 |
Oh No | 133 |
Lonesome? | 135 |
What Went Wrong | 136 |
God I Love This Place | 137 |
Im 51 Percent Sweetheart | 140 |
Before WorkAfter Work | 142 |
When I Woke Up This Morning | 144 |
So You Think You Got Troubles | 145 |
Doing the Job Alone | 146 |
The Revised Revision Revised | 148 |
Dear Mr Jefferson | 149 |
Four Score and Seven Years Ago | 152 |
All He Rites is Buzniss | 153 |
What the Admiral Wanted | 155 |
The Way You Ordered It | 156 |
The Plan | 160 |
Problem Solving Flowsheet | 161 |
Warning | 163 |
To Err Is Human | 165 |
Want My Data Back | 166 |
Hit Any Key to Continue | 167 |
Youll Never Get It In | 168 |
Operation to Make Me Sterile | 169 |
Turn Upside Down | 171 |
Polish Canoe Builder | 172 |
On Recent Trip to U S | 175 |
Bulletin | 177 |
Please Take a Number | 178 |
Keep Smiling | 179 |
Even When Youre Down and Out | 180 |
How My Day Went | 183 |
From Bad to Verse | 184 |
The Man in the Glass | 185 |
Here and There | 187 |
Around the Corner | 188 |
A Crazy Recitation | 189 |
A Little Mixed Up | 191 |
Old Age Is Hell | 193 |
Yes Progress Thats Our Motto | 195 |
Kiss Me Baby Im Vaccinated | 196 |
Heres My Toast | 198 |
Friends May Come | 202 |
Retirement | 203 |
Would Rather Be a Could Be | 217 |
Aint It the Truth | 219 |
Woman 220 219 128 The Dogs Once Gave a Party | 220 |
Pete the Piddling Pup | 222 |
Different Strokes for Different Folks | 225 |
ManagementEmployees | 226 |
EngineerSalesmanPurchasing Agent | 228 |
The Typical Auditor | 231 |
Heaven Is | 232 |
Still Awaiting Instructions | 233 |
Thank God for Medicare | 236 |
The Damn Things Are Growing Wild | 237 |
They Dont Make Mirrors Like They Used To | 238 |
For All Those Born before 1945 | 240 |
How Can You Tell | 243 |
When I Was Born I Was Black | 244 |
Is This Test Too Tough? | 246 |
The Polish Italian Irish Gas Chamber | 252 |
Two Polacks Shooting Crap | 255 |
The Italian Polish Shower | 256 |
Imported Wood Stove | 259 |
Italian Apple Crate | 262 |
Late One Afternoon at a Portuguese Dike | 263 |
Dallas Cowboys Schedule | 266 |
Looks Like Its Going to Be a Great Year | 269 |
Appeal Upheld | 271 |
Dear Earthling | 272 |
Take Me to Your Leader | 273 |
Oh What a Beautiful Morning | 275 |
Ill Have the Gazpacho | 276 |
Folk Cartoons | 277 |
As Seen By | 278 |
We Have Read Your Proposal | 281 |
Poor Cynthia | 282 |
What Did the Boss Have to Say? | 283 |
First Aid | 286 |
Said a Butt Light | 288 |
Go Right Ahead | 289 |
The Boss Has Spoken | 291 |
Please Keep Your Ass Off My Desk | 293 |
Assume That This Is a Refusal | 294 |
Take It They Dont Like the Treaty | 295 |
Dont Think Theyre Coming Down | 296 |
Ive Forgotten My Wallet | 298 |
You Fart? | 299 |
The Worst Case of Diarrhea | 301 |
Patience My Ass | 303 |
The Same Old Bull | 305 |
Would You Be Terribly Upset? | 307 |
Every Day of My Life | 310 |
Behind Mt Rushmore | 316 |
Your Problem Is Quite Obvious | 319 |
Hey Earl | 323 |
One of Us Is an Asshole | 327 |
Knock It Off Asshole | 329 |
Loves Labor Lost | 330 |
Guess Who? | 332 |
He Likes You | 333 |
The Flasher | 337 |
Reproduction Is Fun | 339 |
Escargot | 342 |
The Battle of the Sexes | 344 |
The Evolution of Authority | 345 |
Why Not a Male Boat? | 347 |
Diary of a Young Lady | 348 |
Boys | 351 |
Dont Drink | 353 |
Im Kind of the Shy Type | 355 |
Notice Me Dammit 196 So Whats So Great? | 356 |
The Pacifier | 361 |
Well What Are You Staring At? | 362 |
There Is a Difference | 364 |
No You Cant Touch It | 366 |
So Hot It Melted | 368 |
Ive Got Six Marbles | 369 |
So Thats Why | 372 |
How Do I Know What She Wants? | 375 |
Now Thats Italian | 377 |
Hi Gotcha | 378 |
Lets Hear It Meow | 382 |
Love Is | 386 |
Lets Play Pregnant | 389 |
It Aint Easy Being a Dick | 392 |
Two Old Duffle Bags | 393 |
Let the Following Story be a Warning to You | 394 |
The New Gillette Stainless Steel Spoiler Blade | 397 |
The 747 Has Everything | 398 |
Womens Power | 400 |
Assume | 401 |
These Alimony Payments | 403 |
Hand Me the Hair Dryer | 404 |
Thirty Reasons Why Cucumbers Are Better than Men | 406 |
Twentyfive Good Reasons Why Beer Is Better than Women | 408 |
Anthropological Stages of Man | 410 |
The Geographical Ages of Women | 411 |
Sales Tax | 412 |
Womens Lib Motto | 413 |
The Missing Key | 415 |
You Think You Have Problems | 417 |
Poor Joe | 419 |
Do So Enjoy Sex | 420 |
For Our Retirement? | 422 |
Once More for Old Times Sake | 423 |
Womens Faults Are Many | 426 |
Whats Going On? | 427 |
Twice as Much as a Man | 428 |
Final Masterpiece | 429 |
Conclusions | 431 |
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Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing: Still More Urban Folklore from the ... Alan Dundes,Carl R. Pagter Ierobežota priekšskatīšana - 1991 |
Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing: Still More Urban Folklore from the ... Alan Dundes,Carl R. Pagter Priekšskatījums nav pieejams - 1991 |